Triumph of a Man Called Da-Da: da-da

Showing posts with label da-da. Show all posts

15.8.14

City Under Attack at The Non Sequitur

Is any BMW convertible SAFE??

7.3.14

It's Fashion Friday at the Non Sequitur

7.8.13

21.6.13

That Mealtime Look of Parenthood

Time to feed the zombies. Hopefully some hospital somewhere can regrow limbs.

6.7.12

The Da-da That Time Forgot

Da-da's an anachronism, wrapped in a caffeinated malaprop, surrounded by a toxic marshmallow.

3.7.12

Your Basic Psycho-Da-da Detente -- On the Rocks, With a Twist (and a Little Logging Accident)

Well, the mohair sweater probably helped break the ice. That and the little cheesy mustache.

Da-da finally infiltrated a group of RFMs (Regular Female Moms) today at a local espresso gulag while the boys were at a ninjitsu lesson, and to their surprise the RFMs realized that not only does Da-da share their lives and experiences with about 98.9% accuracy, but when one mom told of her husband's philandering -- then wondered what Da-da thought about THAT (as a kind of primate challenge) -- Da-da (who was admittedly tired and had low boundaries) informed the assembled women, deadpan, that if HE were a woman enduring what he's been enduring with two or more screaming hellions and the husband were having an affair -- or worse, leaving her for another woman WHO DIDN"T HAVE CHILDREN -- that Da-da would feed him a sumptious meal (to slow him down), then hack off his head with an axe and mount the head to the hood of the family car and make it look like a logging accident. (Happens allll the time, officer.) Then he'd go after the offending female and anyone who looked like her. Despite sounding like a psycho axe murderer, Da-da got a standing ovation. We were all officially sympatica. Sympatico? Jeez, even the coffee clerk yelled, "You GO, girl!" Of course, most women have the good sense not to do such heinous things in similar circumstances, which is probably the reason why the human race has gone on for so long. And in his own defense, Da-da is only just-so civilized.

Oops! Time for Da-da's meds (the voices are so LOUD, today). What? DA-DA SAID THEY WERE LOUD, TODAY. Jeez.

WHERE are Da-da's meds?? DO YOU HAVE THEM?

2.7.12

The Triumph of a Man Called Da-da is...

...keeping that Happy Face despite the unfortunate limitations of gravity.

25.6.12

The Triumph of a Man Called Da-da is...

...keenly anticipating this fall's back-to-school fashions. Yes, this year, UNCLE FESTER PLAID is IN.
Good thing, as Da-da's looked like this for years.

24.6.12

The Triumph of a Man Called Da-da is...

The Triumph of a Man Called Da-da is... looking dapper while holding a sleeping primate.

16.6.12

"It is Almost Our Da-da's Day..."

"...so WE chose a special pic! Happy Father's Day, Da-da!" -- Bronko & Nagurski
Actually, Da-da forced this pic so he could get kissed by Ma-ma (who looks like Rita Hayworth) all day.

10.4.12

Poetry Corner: Da-da's Brain is Still Missing

Here's Da-da's entry for "The Painted Bride" short poetry contest called, "Sidecar #12." Entries have to include the words: "gyrate," "gap-toothed" and "God."

Da-da's Brain is Still Missing

Gap-toothed no-neck monsters
screech and gyrate in 6YO
floppy soliloquoy: bed time.

Meanwhile, Da-da's Swedish au pair
lies on a tanning bed blocks away, texting admirers
over blue hawaiians before booming for Vegas.

Gone.

But the joke's on her: she left
her birth-control God in the bathroom,
and conception is its own reward.

And still, Da-da's brain goes missing.

You, of course, must like Da-da HERE. Jeez, how could you not? Da-da slaved over that poem (which he lived) for well over five minutes.

Oh. THERE it is. Powering a casino in Vegas. Huh. At least someone got some use out of it.
(Psst... bet it all on 22 Black.)

Da-da's Fan Club Begins to Coalesce... in a Pink and SPOOKY Fashion

That is so sweet. Da-da esp. likes the spooky MIB on the right.

22.2.12

Parenthood Makes...

...people silly and rotund! Yay! Wait. Sorry. Parenthood makes DA-DA silly and rotund! Yay! Ha ha! An important distinction, as you're quite sagacious and... well, HOT. Has Da-da told you how hot you are? WELL YOU ARE. Now, does the above graphic imply that Parenthood makes one dance like elite entertainers? Yeah. That must be it.

15.2.12

It's the "B" Family

Mr. B is chock full of B-plots.

Da-da loves "B" plots. Ok, he doesn't, but he needs a lead-in, so there. WherewasDa-da? Right. B-plot. You know, the part of a movie where minor characters have to do something minor that reveals a minor bit of the plot, but the "A" plot heroes then swoop in and reinterpret the facts and take all the glory and then smooch and drive off in the Ferarri? You can see where this is going, right? Yes. You're so smart. Da-da's life is one big "B" plot. (Ok, maybe a "D" plot, but allow Da-da this little fantasy.). Just like sleuthing out your Native American Name, it's important for family members to determine and embrace their "B" nomenclature, that is, the names that aliteratively and predictably start with the letter B. Why is Da-da bothering you with this, you ask? No idea. But this morning at Da-da's house, 6YO Nagurski (of Bronko and Nagurski fame) announced that his new name was, "BADGER." This name fit so well that Da-da assigned B names to the whole family. And no, there's no magic formula. You gotta use your own creativity, so break out the pull starter and give it a yank.

Da-da's Awesome Family "B" Nomenclatura

4YO Bronko is now, "BUMPER"
6YO Nagurski is, "BADGER"
32YO Ma-ma is, "BUN-BUN"

And of course...

89YO Da-da is, "Mr. B."

Factually, Mr. B is one of Da-da's file cabinets (and has stopped more than his share of bullets), but Da-da doesn't think he'll mind. Much.