AIIEIEE! It's the Holidays...

AIIEE! It's the holidays! Wrap your head in bread...

...and cover everything in foil! Like that's gonna help.



55 Years Ago Today...


...the "Tsar Bomba" was detonated, a 57 megaton (!) device that is the single most physically powerful device ever deployed by mankind (that we know of). The diameter of the fireball (seen above) was five miles. The energy released in the blast was roughly equivalent to ten times the entire firepower unleashed in WWII -- including the two US fission bombs.

Think perhaps it's time we meditate for peace and outgrow war?

This pic was taken A HUNDRED MILES AWAY.



ATTN: New Dress Code for The Non Sequitur

O the futility!

Attention: The Mgt of The Non Sequitur has announced a new dress code for all patrons. Guests must be found clad in ensembles suggest a certain cheerful Jungian topiary futility or, failing that, an aphoristic foray into the heady cabalistic insousciance of a 1959 Jamaican death cult. Any patron failing to adhere to these ontological fin-de-siècle wardrobe guidelines will either run the risk of dining al fresco with Claude -- or worse, they will be italicized for the duration of their Non Sequitur experience, and all future experiences. And yes, Wednesdays are still articulated. No weasels, please. You know who you are.

Claude is always intense.


Hooray! It's Colonel Petrov Day!

He saved the world -- really.
This man is most likely the reason you exist right now.

Seriously. Hooray. 33 years ago today, this nice man -- Colonel Petrov -- was hunkered in the bunker, the lone officer in charge of the (former) Soviet Union's ICBM Early Warning System for a given sector. On that day, said system was rigged by the cabal to suddenly alarm and show five American ICBMs inbound. Why? To start WWIII, the cabal's dream.

Rather than fully commit his missiles to a retaliatory strike, Col. Petrov had a "funny feeling" (he told the WashPost back in '99 when it didn't suck so much) that something wasn't quite right. Needless to say, it was just a false-positive computer glitch, and Col. Petrov did NOT launch his missiles, and by failing to do so he saved YOUR BACON, and that of the world, from nuclear annihilation -- and THAT is why today is Col. Petrov Day, living proof that you don't need gigantic superhero muscles or a fancy suit or stupid mask and cape to save the world.

Vodka and Soviet-era non-stick shovels for everyone!

Mmmm.. shovel eggs...


Halloween is Coming

For those venturing into the truth... watch your back.



...er, I meant the waiter. Or IT guy? One of those. He serves files, too, right?


Da-da's 2016 Back-to-School Fashion Extravaganza

Oh, that "got-sick-in-a-taxi" hostage chic.

Nothing says, "HUH?" like kids back-to-school fashion... well, except maybe for "election" year confusion. Anyway, here are Da-da's picks for most incomprehensible (mostly male, as Da-da has boys) fashion that you hope you don't see on your kid's campus. Anyway, here we go:

To begin with, we have this lovely mylar/skyscraper trash/dehumanization motif:

Kiss me, stupid: I'm recyclable.

DIY cabal-wear for the angry and dispossessed.


Da-da's New JET VAN Increases Local Gravity

Can you feel it? If so, can you mail it to me? Or get it out of the mud? Hello?



Da-da's doing a new series of tourist ads for the state of Idaho. How'd he do?


Happy Cinco de Trekko... er, Gato

In space, no one can hear you do... that thing... you were doing.

This would explain much feline behavior, of late.


2016: The Year of the Fire Honkie

Dude. (Smoking) Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when they're dead.


"The FEAR BUS" (Sung to, "The Love Boat") -- A Postmodern Carol (#26 in a Series of 47)

Well, since "Zika" means "Ebola" in the crapola language, it's time to dust this off.

[sung to, "The Love Boat" with no apology to Paul Williams and Charles Fox]

FEAR... exciting and... pew!
Come aboard. We're expecting you!
And... FEAR, that dreaded transport.
Let it smoke... it floats back to you...
[screech of brakes and gunfire]
The FEAR BUS... soon will be making another run!
The FEAR BUS... promises horror for everyone...
Get a course on butt-clencher,
You hide from some psycho's rants...
[driver yells, someone cries]
And FEAR... will hurt evermore
[red light horn honk riff]
It's a broken smile... or a deadly snore.
[tires sing on wet pavement, explosion]
Welcome aboard the FEEEEEEARRRRR BUS!


Factually, this “emergency” Zika virus notice is so the Powers That Were have something to blame for the startling rise in birth defects caused by Monsanto chemicals and Fukushima radiation, among other things.



New Kindle "TAO of Da-da" Edition is UP

Like The Tao of Pooh did for all things POOH, The Tao of Da-da marries a haggard dad's (that's Da-da) hilarious, self-deprecating view of his own role with The TAO te Ching, along with select funniness from his award-winning blog "Triumph of a Man Called Da-da." In truth, every day you survive as a parent is a triumph, and somewhere in there is The Way, or The TAO of Da-da.


What a Piece of Work is a MERLIN

Since it's always time for a Shakespearean cat parody, let's wax Merlinesque!

"What a piece of work is a MERLIN! How lacking in reason, how infinite in insensate purriness! In form and moving how spooky and impossible! In action how like a furry monster, in apprehension how like another furry monster! (Especially in terms of omnivoric capacity.) The insane toasted marshmallow beauty of the world! The self-appointed bitey paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of hairball? Barf delights not me. No, nor woman neither, though by my wife smiling she seems to suggest who's cleaning it up this time."


"(Talkin' 'Bout) My Education" (Sung to, "My Generation") -- A Postmodern Carol (#13 in a Series of 25)

Behold the new anthem for post-secondary education. Crank it.

Da-da's reissuing a few of these, featured in his third book...


[sung to the tune of, "My Generation," with apologies to The WHO.]

People try to put it d-down (Talkin' 'bout my education)
Just because I goofed around (Talkin' 'bout indoctrination)
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout indebted nation)

Hope I'm employed before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my education)

This is my education
This is my education, baby

Why don't you all t-t-trade away (Talkin' 'bout my allegation)
And don't try to sell what we all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my condemnation)
I'm not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my adaptation)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my ed-d-d-ducation (Talkin' 'bout my education)

This is my education
This is my education, baby

Why don't you m-m-masquerade away (Talkin' 'bout your obfuscation)
And don't try to b-buy what they all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my suffocation)
I'm not trying to cause a b-big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my demarcation)
I'm just talkin' 'bout my ed-d-d-ducation (Talkin' 'bout my education)

This is my education
This is my education, baby

People pepper spray us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my fumigation)
Just because we sit around (Talkin' 'bout my liberation)
Things they do look awful s-s-sold (Talkin' 'bout your corporation)

Yeah, hope I die before I'm controlled (Talkin' 'bout my education)

This is my education
This is my education, baby

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