It's the "B" Family

Mr. B is chock full of B-plots.

Da-da loves "B" plots. Ok, he doesn't, but he needs a lead-in, so there. WherewasDa-da? Right. B-plot. You know, the part of a movie where minor characters have to do something minor that reveals a minor bit of the plot, but the "A" plot heroes then swoop in and reinterpret the facts and take all the glory and then smooch and drive off in the Ferarri? You can see where this is going, right? Yes. You're so smart. Da-da's life is one big "B" plot. (Ok, maybe a "D" plot, but allow Da-da this little fantasy.). Just like sleuthing out your Native American Name, it's important for family members to determine and embrace their "B" nomenclature, that is, the names that aliteratively and predictably start with the letter B. Why is Da-da bothering you with this, you ask? No idea. But this morning at Da-da's house, 6YO Nagurski (of Bronko and Nagurski fame) announced that his new name was, "BADGER." This name fit so well that Da-da assigned B names to the whole family. And no, there's no magic formula. You gotta use your own creativity, so break out the pull starter and give it a yank.

Da-da's Awesome Family "B" Nomenclatura

4YO Bronko is now, "BUMPER"
6YO Nagurski is, "BADGER"
32YO Ma-ma is, "BUN-BUN"

And of course...

89YO Da-da is, "Mr. B."

 Factually, Mr. B is one of Da-da's file cabinets (and has stopped more than his share of bullets), but Da-da doesn't think he'll mind. Much.

Mrs. B is not amused.

Da-da's Native American Nomenclatura (or, YOUR "INDIAN" NAME HERE)

Da-da's Native American name used to be, "Materializes-in-Green-Laundromat-Chair."

It's very important for families to both determine and then firmly embrace Native American nomenclature -- or as politically incorrect, coonskinned kids in the '50s called it, "yer Indian name." (They're all running Congress, now.) This naming ritual is easier than you think, and is SO important. Why is it SO important? Come on, Da-da can't answer every one of Life's Mysteries for you. If he did that, you'd just materialize in and out of laundromats all day and all night in dispair of KNOWING EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE. How dull.

Anyway, sans further ado, here is Da-da's Awesome Native American nomenclatura for his own awesome family:

Da-da's Awesome Native American Family Nomenclatura

4YO Bronko is now, "Loud Bear"
6YO Nagurski is, "Many-Places-at-Once"
32YO Ma-ma is, "Big-Hair-in-Charge"

And of course...

89YO Da-da is, "Stands-With-No-Brain."

See? Case closed.