A Weird Sign Unto Youse

Run away!

Happy Numerical Sequence Day!

11:12:13 on 11-12-13, yay!

SAHD Too Long?

Da-da may have been a Stay-at-Home-Dad a bit too long, but that new
Dog Grinder 3000 sure is a timesaver! And that hormone therapy
is working wonders -- for everyone!

The Awesome Simulacra of Mystical Statistical Correlation and Inexplicable Insistence

So. This happened a little while ago. Look familiar?

Now does it look familiar? You know what this means, right?

Should be fairly obvious.

Machu Picchu is a prehistoric culture-blog stat chart. In stone.

The Word at The Fed: Garmonbozia

Here is all your pain and suffering. Banksters find it delicious.

Duo-floor B-ball in the Quad-Shoe... Huh?

"Looks like the Morvalia Morlocks have caught Chicanery State flat-footed, Jim."
"Yeah, they're really pounding the boards, tonight."

Scenes From Da-da's Mind-Roasting Summer

Despite being repeatedly removed in padded restraints, Da-da still remains Number One!
("Number One WHAT" being an intense matter of debate.)

Scenes From Da-da's Mind-Roasting Summer

Da-da's surgery turned out AWESOME... until the tide came in. Damn.

Scenes From Da-da's Mind-Roasting Summer

Da-da visited Cannes... er, CANS... and bonded with some other hard-working writers on an important project. A pity that Da-da was in the can the whole time -- inside that very one there, in fact. Where were they rolling Da-da? Where else?

Jeez, once you label someone...

A Sign Unto You

We're on a mission from God.

Da-da Has Landed

"Hey! Keep it down. Nothing to see here. Damn alien probes. Any snacks on that thing?"
(img src: successisnotanoption)

The Word at The Fed: Garmonbozia

At

At The Fed, it's always time for garmonbozia.

Friday Night Spooky: Got Simulacra?

That's actually a spooky video still, but it's not active. You can see it HERE.

Is it just Da-da, or is this recent peak-energy clip from the X-1.4 solar flar from the July 12th blast the spookiest looking damn solar flare ever? Besides the ferocious, bearded Masonic triangle death-hat firelord guy -- with some weird energy figure inside the triangle -- there are what look like FACES everywhere. Da-da's hoping this is a good thing... but they all look pretty grumpy. Got simulacra? Can Da-da even spell simulacra?

Da-da for one is sending a massive giggle tsunami out into space to DEFEAT this lame-ass grumpfest -- unless it's a GOOD thing. Then Da-da will merely be tickling happy mojo spirit friends (HMSFs). Either way, the energy will be here at 09:17 UT (5:17 am EDT) tomorrow, Saturday, July 14th. Weirdest thing is it's due here at the exact same time Da-da's oldest boy, Nagurski, was born exactly seven years ago.

Happy Bastille Day, everyone. Happy b-day, Nagurski. Let's hope your candle isn't lit by the sun.

Draining the Bath: The Truth Behind Bath Salts Hysteria?

Does that qualify as fast food??

This may come as a shock, but Da-da doesn't trust the media. After working with them for 20 years, and seeing where things were going, Da-da is a firm believer in NOT believing anything you read from paid mainstream sources. They always have an agenda. This is not to say that private sources don't. Either way, Da-da can safely say that HE has no interest in hyping things one way or the other. Like most people, Da-da just wants to know what's really going on.

Anyway, case in point: all the alleged, "face eating" going on. (No, thanks. Da-da already ate.) Da-da doesn't doubt that this strangeness is indeed happening. What Da-da has trouble with is the vague claims about, "bath salts" primarily being to blame. Rather than accept the media's accounts, Da-da contacted a good friend in the DOJ to get the inside scoop (off the record, of course).

As it turned out, Da-da's friend had just completed some deep research on many of the XX cases, worldwide (it's happening in N. America, S. America, China and Europe), and... bath salts were only a factor in a small percentage. The common denomenator seems to be that nearly all of the perps were drug and alcohol users (incl. marijuana, natural and synthetic, cocaine, meth, etc.). Ok, now it gets weird.

Seems that ALL the perpetrators (not just some) were seeing "demons everywhere," even while sober, about a day or two prior to the attacks. This pushed them to start heavily using drugs or alcohol or both, and... well, then they went crazy, defending themselves against "demons," which were actually just people around them.

A talented psychic involved with the cases said that the perps were having their "normal defenses" compromised by recreational drugs; once inebriated, they were then, "jumped" by some negative entity. Basically,therir bodioes hijacked by... something. This is apparently common in addicts. Loved ones reported that the perpetrators seemed, "possessed," some speaking in tongues, many exhibiting insane physical strength and endurance. And many attackers took six shots to bring then down. In virtually all cases, no drugs like PCP were found to explain this "superhuman" aspect. Da-da wishes he could be less vague, but like he said, all his info was delivered off the record. Suffice to say that the truth is stranger than mere bath salts.

Stranger still, Da-da's DOJ friend mentioned that law enforcement agencies were prepped months ago by a memo warning them about, "What to do in case of a zombie attack." Everyone thought it was a joke then. They don't now.

Da-da advises people to stick to coffee (just not so much that it makes you grope people on a bus), and maintain a positive mindset. Meditate. Be calm. He'd advise you to hug a zombie, but you'd best leave that to law enforcement.

See what a positive mindset can do?

NOTE: Da-da's not normally big on "demons," but given the weird things he's experienced in his own (haunted) house, he won't rule anything out. There are definitely malevolent spirits around; one was living in Da-da's house -- and Da-da personally saw the thing trying to get into someone's body (he witnessed the effects, then spoke with the person afterward), but more on that later. Da-da even got a *picture* of the beastie, but he's kept it to himself for a while as it's just too disturbing. Now it's gone, so... stay tuned.

Da-da's Glamor Night Job is All Glamory

Freddy... er, Da-da says, "Come again! Da-da slime you long-time!"

So, Da-da's taken a break from being Bad Mall Santa Da-da and the Easter Bunny during off-school hours to be... Frog-Headed Guy! Seems some weird all-night shoppers in some weird all-night markets reeeally like this kinda thing and, well... Da-da makes awesome frog noises, so you do the math. The late-night things Da-da does to help bring home the sushi. Too bad he has kid duty during the day. Luckily, store management lets Da-da wear the frog head home! The boys love it. Ma-ma LOVES it. (Once you've been with a frog, you never go back.) Speaking of the impossible, where's Doug and Emmy Jo? (No one's getting that one.)

Do the Da-da Dance

When all your brain cells are dead... you might as well dance.

And Now For Something Completely Garmonbozian

It's always time for Garmonbozia.

Of Eclipses, Sphinxes and Shrubberianism

You know things are getting weird when Ma-ma dons her Sphinx outfit.
If she asks you a question, be sure to know the answer.

Da-da hasn't seen news of this upcoming solar eclipse anywhere, but then again, Da-da refers to himself as Da-da and lives under a shrubbery (two actually, for a nice two-pronged effect). Anyway, said solar eclipse will be visible on Sunday, May 20th, in the early evening across much of the U.S., as well as other parts of the globe, with apologies to those readers in non-eclipse-y, socially and economically functional countries. All the info on when and where is elegantly presented HERE at Shadow and Substance. They do an awesome job. Basically, May 20th is gonna be one weird day. Trust Da-da on this one. All your plants WILL DOUBLE IN SIZE and become sentient, while all your Yahtzee dice will go missing. Weird, huh?

What this REALLY MEANS is that you'll be able to trick your kids into going to bed earlier. Ahem.

Almost time for Tubby Apocalypse. (Ignore the blood.) It'll be over soon, Roger the Shrubber.

Your Basic Pre-Apocalyptic Rapprochement Synchronicity (or "Why Da-da Ain't 'Gunnin' fer 'Squatch ")

Don't do it, 'Squatch.

Ok, this is weird. Da-da was flipping through his littany of bizarro news sites while Bronko and Nagurski were watching aftersnack/snickersnack TV (they're deep into, "Timeblazers," an awesome show out of Canada; the subject for said episode was, "Living in North America 300-odd years ago"). Anyway, right in the middle of it, Nagurski, who's gonna be seven soon, glances over at Da-da and says, "You know, I think Bigfoot is just misunderstood." Da-da blinked at this totally out-of-the-blue, plate-o-shrimp, non-sequitur, big-word Delphic utterance and asked, What?

Garmonbozia?

Ohh, Garmonbozia. A-ha.