|O the futility!|
Attention: The Mgt of The Non Sequitur has announced a new dress code for all patrons. Guests must be found clad in ensembles suggest a certain cheerful Jungian topiary futility or, failing that, an aphoristic foray into the heady cabalistic insousciance of a 1959 Jamaican death cult. Any patron failing to adhere to these ontological fin-de-siècle wardrobe guidelines will either run the risk of dining al fresco with Claude -- or worse, they will be italicized for the duration of their Non Sequitur experience, and all future experiences. And yes, Wednesdays are still articulated. No weasels, please. You know who you are.
|Claude is always intense.|
|This man is most likely the reason you exist right now.|
Seriously. Hooray. 33 years ago today, this nice man -- Colonel Petrov -- was hunkered in the bunker, the lone officer in charge of the (former) Soviet Union's ICBM Early Warning System for a given sector. On that day, said system was rigged by the cabal to suddenly alarm and show five American ICBMs inbound. Why? To start WWIII, the cabal's dream.
Rather than fully commit his missiles to a retaliatory strike, Col. Petrov had a "funny feeling" (he told the WashPost back in '99 when it didn't suck so much) that something wasn't quite right. Needless to say, it was just a false-positive computer glitch, and Col. Petrov did NOT launch his missiles, and by failing to do so he saved YOUR BACON, and that of the world, from nuclear annihilation -- and THAT is why today is Col. Petrov Day, living proof that you don't need gigantic superhero muscles or a fancy suit or stupid mask and cape to save the world.
Vodka and Soviet-era non-stick shovels for everyone!
|Mmmm.. shovel eggs...|