Merry Happy! It's buuuuuXmas!

Merry buuuuXMAS, everyone. As a gift to you, Da-da's launched
the e-book for The TAO of Da-da @ $0.99 till January 1st! Enjoy!


T-Day Warp Five

You will believe a Pilgrim hat can fly. Or at least zoom past and mess everything up.


Flip That Big Pancake

If you like hearing people laugh, give them this for the holidays.


It's BIG UNDERPANTS Monday! Welcome!

Yes, it's Big Underpants Monday! That means... it's the holidays!


DALEK is There For You


Da-da swears, these things were just sitting next to his stand-up desk, right next to a box of Trader Joe's tissues. Who knew Daleks could be so comforting? Or Stone Angels could be so vulnerable? [sniff] A sign of the times?


It's Colonel Petrov Day! AGAIN!

He saved the world -- really.
This nice man saved your borscht from hitting the fan.

Yay, it's Colonel Petrov Day! Who is Col. Petrov, you ask? He's your basic hero. A real one.

32 years ago today, Col. Petrov was hunkered in the bunker, the lone officer in charge of the former Soviet Union's ICBM Early Warning System for a given sector. On that day, said system (rigged by the cabal, we've recently learned) suddenly alarmed and showed five American ICBMs inbound. Rather than fully commit his missiles to a retaliatory strike, Col. Petrov had a "funny feeling" (he told the WashPost back in '99) that something wasn't quite right. Needless to say, it was just a false-positive computer glitch, and Col. Petrov did NOT launch his missiles, and by failing to do so he saved the world from nuclear annihilation -- and THAT is why today is Col. Petrov Day, living proof that you don't need gigantic superhero muscles or a fancy suit to save the world, Timmy. Alas, no one can save you from Da-da's run-on-sentences.

Vodka and blintzes for everyone! Or failing that, a pumpkin blancmange. Heroes LOVE pumpkin blancmange.

Fig. B. The Pumpkin Blancmange


Tipping Sacred Cows: The New Peanuts Movie

This magic is gone, save for DVDs.

Da-da and family were in a theater not too long ago to see some kid movie Da-da has strangely forgotten. Anyway, during the previews, we were at first pleased to see that a new Charlie Brown feature was soon to be released... but grew less and less interested -- and indeed, horrified (Da-da's boys especially) -- as we watched the preview. There was something WRONG about it. It wasn't the 3-D-ish animation, it was...

It was the music.

There was no Vince Guaraldi jazz music accompanying the images we all grew up with. The Charlie Brown canon simply does not work without a tasty jazz trio accompaniment. Indeed, we --  AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE THEATER -- were repulsed (and making repulsed noises) by the marriage of Peanuts characters and contemporary music. It was awful. Given the fluidity of "film" these days, they could easily swap sound tracks, but Da-da fears they won't.

Perhaps Da-da et al are old-school purists, but it seems to us that the Charles Schulz family has made a tactical error in allowing this (one of Da-da's friends called it, "an abomination") to exist; a mistake, hopefully, that they take steps to correct.


Charlie Brown rapping? Really? This is Rap's jump-the-shark moment. It was never music anyway.


Where is Da-da??

Questions keep rolling in. Where is Da-da? What happened to Da-da? Da-da is actually readying his third book for e-book launch, as well as that of his first novel (which he's fallen in love with all over again). AND Da-da's readying his fourth and fifth books, a non-fiction supernatural memoir and a secret project, respectively. AND he has new duties at Schrödinger's Öther Cat. AND he's a bit burned out from being burned out. Needless to say, Da-da's busy being Da-da, so this blog must suffer. But from suffering comes great work. Or perhaps more suffering. Anyway, please stay tuned. Clouds are already forming.


Halloween is Coming

Few realize that Mr. Rogers first name was Freddie.
Fewer realize he's in your closet right now, wearing your cardigan.


Time for a Math Test

That Back-to-School Look of Parenthood

Hello? These should be mass produced and delivered all over the world.
Happy back to school for all, and... start pedaling, Timmy.


Boys, Please, Always Use a Condiment

It's Sunday and, as usual, the boys are arguing very important issues of the day.

Schrödinger's Öther Cat

Da-da and company have started a new blog called...

...dedicated to anomalies, mysteries, and all manner of weirdness -- Schrödinger's other cat being the one that was WAAAY too smart to get into the scientist's box in the first place. This will be where all future mysteries and unusual events are brought to light and SOLVED. Enjoy.


Chills, Tingling, Ringing? Muscle Spasms? Clown Heads?

A serious question for all: have you had any unexplained chills, tingling, muscle spasms lately? A loud ringing/buzzing in the ears? Strange dreams? Clown visitations? All of the above? Don't worry, you're probably not sick. In fact, it's more than likely a good thing... except for the clowns.

You may or may not believe in this kinda stuff, but these are apparently symptoms of an energy upgrade. Some call it Ascension. Some call it insanity. Da-da didn't believe it at first, but we've already entered a highly energetic region of space (as of December 2012), and we're swimming in energy right now. Many can FEEL it, and they're not psychics. (Some can't feel it, but they're mostly grumpy magicians.) Sure, some of us wear pointy hats and dance around trees, but who doesn't? Check out what it's doing to a third of the stars in the Milky Way. This is apparently the beginning of an energy swell that's to increase dramatically over the next 60 days. It's unavoidable. (It's also technically coming from INSIDE you, but that's a whole other post.)

If you're experiencing tingling, etc., note that you're probably NOT dying. Or strapped to a gurney. In extreme cases, you might feel out of touch with your body, or even floatiness, as if you're floating above your body. If you suddenly develop a CLOWN HEAD -- or more than one -- seek help immediately, preferrably from circus folk.

NOTE1 (The Disclaimer): If you have multiple symptoms as above AND have sweating, cold clammy skin, shortness of breath, nausea, headaches, or pain of any kind, you probably should contact your doctor. Use common sense. Da-da is not a doctor.Da-da himself is ERUMPENT with clown heads, so do the math.

NOTE2: (The Warning): Be Warned. This energy may affect people of low-trending vibration in a negative way, as it will be putting light pressure on them, and if someone is dark-focused, this energy may make them agitated or crazy. If you see someone behaving strangely, keep away from them.

Needless to say, MEDITATION is important right now. Go to it. You can even get kids into the act... or at least get them to go to sleep. For the record, Da-da and his boys -- and many people he knows -- are feeling these kinds of affects right now. It's either that, or these kids REALLY need to get BACK TO SCHOOL ASAP, extraneous clown heads notwithstanding.

In rare cases, sometimes the elephant in the room really IS an elephant.


Jocular Pumpkin Loaf Spice Mass Day Llama Thing -- AGAIN

Today is Lughnasad, aka Lammas Day, aka Loaf Mass Day, marking the beginning of Lammastide, which is either the Gaelic Autumn harvest festival, or a special day to honor llamas. No idea if llamas were named such because they were used for harvesting crops, but these days who knows? Anyway, since it's loaf-mass day, Da-da's mass is loafing. He might make pumpkin spice muffins later though. Here's the recipe from last year, when Da-da was a lot funnier. Ah, well. Everything has its season. At least Da-da got to change the wreath on the house.

So, WHY does Da-da mention what some might see as an obsolete harvest festival? Two things:

1. The planet's weather is changing and shorter growing cycles of yore might become the norm, and...

2. It marks the beginning of BACK TO SCHOOL preparations! 

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.


That Merry-Go-Round Look of Parenthood

Goes 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round...
...and if you can identify the carousel, then you really ARE a parent.

IMPOSSIBLE DA-DA CONTEST #1: Be the first to correctly identify the above carousel's location and get a free copy of Da-da's latest book, The Tao of Da-da!


The Charon Triangle?

Ok. Da-da checked with his unimpeachable sources on this, and this image has NOT been photoshopped. There really IS an enormous triangle scratched onto Charon's surface -- and there appears to be more weirdness.


Happy Bastille Day!

Happy Bastille Day to everyone! Here's hoping yours is a metaphoric one, too.


Da-da's Easy 5-Step (Meditation) Sleep Method for Kids

Few realize it, but Da-da is the Sleep Master. Try this and you'll see why.

Triumph of A Man Called Da-da was at first supposed to be a parenting humor blog, but has since morphed into the metaphysical and anomalistic -- which is unavoidable when it comes to dealing with children and most government officials. In this light, here is a foolproof method of putting any child (or select adult) asleep with very little effort.

Da-da's Easy 5-Step Sleep-Method for Kids
After they've brushed their teeth and are in bed and ready for sleep, tell the child that you're going to teach them how to MEDITATE. When you speak, do so in a slow and calm, soothing voice. [Notes are in brackets.]

Step 1. Once the child is in bed, turn off the lights and tell them to get comfortable and close their eyes. Tell them to take a few deep breaths and relax.

Step 2. Tell them: "Now I want you to create a 'grounding cord' from the base of your spine [which you might have to describe] to the center of the earth. It's just a cord plugging you into the ground."

Step 3. Tell them: "Now imagine a big ball of white light all around you. [This is for their protection, but don't tell them that.] Wherever you go, this ball of light goes with you, all around you. Think of allowing only those with your greatest good inside your light bubble. Only those with your greatest good are allowed inside."

Step 4. "Now imagine a tiny, glowing white pine cone in the center of your head. [This is their pineal gland, a gateway of sorts.] Imagine a glowing cord going from that tiny pine cone to The Source, which is a big ball of very friendly light. You can't miss it."

Step 5. Tell them: "Now float... and imagine your true self, who you really are. Do this silently for five minutes." If they ask any questions, tell them to look around with their "spirit eyes" and find out. Check the time. Do not make a sound.
Five minutes later, your child is sound asleep. If your child isn't asleep, you either have a Yogi Master on your hands, or you need to add some calming layers to their bedtime routines (as well as avoiding all chocolate and sugar and ALL SCREENS two hours before bed; FYI, screens produce the same chemical in the brain that meth addicts enjoy). For the record, Da-da's oldest is classic ADHD, and he typically goes to sleep in five minutes with this technique, though Da-da sometimes has to do it twice.

When your kids are teens, have them try this meditation technique WHEN THEY'RE AWAKE, and concentrate on any number of meditation topics. Tends to calm them down. Grounding alone is worth the price of admission. This sleep technique also tends to eliminate bad dreams.

Better still, it works for adults. After you're comfortable with this meditation method and can get into it rather quickly, try asking for a spirit guide -- but be sure you set protection, as in Step 3. 

If you have a baby you're trying to get to sleep, try Da-da's Baby Pendula, but please be careful.

(Meditation Note: While Da-da is suggesting kids lie down for the above, one would normally sit to meditate. Indeed, one can meditate anywhere. You can even meditate while walking or hiking or even riding in an elevator. While Da-da used to meditate every time his old boss used to talk to him, he typically meditates sitting/"zazen" in a rocking chair. Note that zazen doesn't mean sitting cross-legged the way you see monks and yogis meditating: "The aim of zazen is just sitting, that is, suspending all judgmental thinking and letting words, ideas, images and thoughts pass by without getting involved in them." -wikipedia, 'zazen')

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