Your Basic Psycho-Da-da Detente -- On the Rocks, With a Twist (and a Little Logging Accident)

Well, the mohair sweater probably helped break the ice. That and the little cheesy mustache.

Da-da finally infiltrated a group of RFMs (Regular Female Moms) today at a local espresso gulag while the boys were at a ninjitsu lesson, and to their surprise the RFMs realized that not only does Da-da share their lives and experiences with about 98.9% accuracy, but when one mom told of her husband's philandering -- then wondered what Da-da thought about THAT (as a kind of primate challenge) -- Da-da (who was admittedly tired and had low boundaries) informed the assembled women, deadpan, that if HE were a woman enduring what he's been enduring with two or more screaming hellions and the husband were having an affair -- or worse, leaving her for another woman WHO DIDN"T HAVE CHILDREN -- that Da-da would feed him a sumptious meal (to slow him down), then hack off his head with an axe and mount the head to the hood of the family car and make it look like a logging accident. (Happens allll the time, officer.) Then he'd go after the offending female and anyone who looked like her. Despite sounding like a psycho axe murderer, Da-da got a standing ovation. We were all officially sympatica. Sympatico? Jeez, even the coffee clerk yelled, "You GO, girl!" Of course, most women have the good sense not to do such heinous things in similar circumstances, which is probably the reason why the human race has gone on for so long. And in his own defense, Da-da is only just-so civilized.

Oops! Time for Da-da's meds (the voices are so LOUD, today). What? DA-DA SAID THEY WERE LOUD, TODAY. Jeez.

WHERE are Da-da's meds?? DO YOU HAVE THEM?