Tao of Da-da #50: Strong Winds CAN Blow All Day, Depending on How Much Sugar Has Been Ingested


A Man Called Da-da tries to yield
to whatever the moment brings... er, demands.
He knows his head is now filled mostly with air.
Or hydrogen, which would explain why he's
bumping on the ceiling and ready to explode.
No illusions remain in his indentured worldview.
No resistance in his will.
His mind and will are gone;
like the government, they're lost in a pile of robots and sharp plastic things.
Da-da doesn't think about things anymore,
his endless repetitive actions,
because there's rarely time for that.
Da-da's actions flow from the Core of Whatever
to carve out the Valley of Ok, Da-da.
Da-da holds nothing back from life
because Da-da signed up for this.
The flow is the go.
And strong winds CAN blow all day
depending on how much sugar has been ingested.
Da-da knows when he's beat.
He folds and patiently awaits a new deal at summer's end,
the hope of Back-to-School.

[Excerpted from Da-da's third book, The Tao of Da-da (or, Strong Winds CAN Blow All Day, Depending on How Much Sugar Has Been Ingested). Void where prohibited. Publishers welcome... once school starts.] 

Be good, monkey.

[Orig. published August, 2013.]


"Turn Around, MONSTER" (Sung to, "Total Eclipse of the Heart") -- A Postmodern Carol (#11 in a Series)

Last night, the boys saw an especially traumatic Ultraman episode where the rubberized skeleton monster involved was atypically sad [sniff] 'cause it'd been knocked out of the "Outer Zone" by a misguided rocket. Hate it when that happens. Once on earth, the monster was quite un-monster-like in that he just cried and cried and cried (sounding like steel gurders collapsing) for what seemed like hours till scientists and Ultraman finally couldn't stand it anymore and helped the scranch-y monster get back home... but it took time. Too much time. SO much time. Meanwhile, the monster wandered the countryside, howling and forlorn [sob]. Why is Da-da boring you with this?

Because Da-da's youngest started to cry for the sad monster [it really was sad] -- or maybe it was because his ears hurt from the terrible sound. Regardless, a sad 4YO Bronko suddenly broke into a song about the sad monster. Well, in an '80s dimension, channeling big hair monsters that walked through dark rooms filled with slo-mo doves and blowing chiffon. You know: AWESOME.

Here are the words Da-da recorded. You're welcome.


Da-da's 2017 Back-to-School Fashion EXTRAVAGANZA

NONE of these people will ever get abducted by ETs... or they already were, so it doesn't matter.

Nothing says EVOLUTION-in-ACTION like back-to-school fashion 2017. Talk about fin d'siecle. I suppose this could all be a reaction to people NOT wanting to be abducted by ETs or what have you, or perhaps they're so bored that they're one step away from wearing old appliance boxes with arm-holes cut out. Anyway, here are Da-da's picks for 2017's most incomprehensible (and mostly male, since Da-da has boys) fashion that you hope you never see in person -- and especially hope no one in your family actually paid retail for. What's most interesting is that it's getting more and more difficult for men to look *unintentionally* stupid: gene-pool removal seems to have become a conscious choice of late. Probably for the best. Here we go:

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