Someone Asked What Da-da Really Looks Like

Ok, here ya go. This is pretty much Da-da, 'cept Da-da's Kingdom is veeeeeeery small, and his throne's not
nearly as nice -- and Da-da's 100% grumpier. Da-da does, however, sport that same pensive, distrustful look
upon his troubled brow. And he's also really good with archaic weapons. And he's grumpier, did he mention that?

Da-da Van Wynkle (No, not Wynkelhorn)

LOOK what having kids DID TO HIM. Next, on CONAN THE O'BRIEN!

Da-da's trying to WRITE over here, but things keep happening so he's forced back into the plastic tube for a moderately timely thing about... some other ellipsoidal... thing. What?

Da-da basically fell down in 2005 when he had his first kid (ok, someone else did all the growth and birthing, but Da-da had to comb his hair... while he still had it). And he was just starting to get up when the next kid came along in 2007 like a 40 lb. sack -- yes, a very cute sack -- of rabid weasels that just ate another 40 lbs of wienerschnitzel. (Um, that's 80 lbs. How's Da-da's math?)

It should thus come as no surprise that Da-da not only says things like "thus" all the time, but also got out of the habit of watching prime time anything. No prime time movies, no TV, a little Internet, some weird articles about perpetually blurry flying glowing-red-eye things in Pennsylvania that eat people... you know, a total pop blitz.

So.

Da-da watched "Conan" for the first time today -- seriously, first time -- recorded from last night, and...

Da-da did not recognize a single celebrity name or movie.

He did recognize CONAN. He likes Conan, though he's seen him mostly online, enough to recognize that hair as being Da-da's hair that Conan seems to have stolen while Da-da slept. Nice move, commander. Da-da *did* understand the monologue jokes, as they were mostly knee-jerk (funny knee-jerk) off the wires and THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. But the guest celebs... no idea. Their names and movies might as well have been in chinese.

What does this mean to you?

It means you are, right now, reading words written by the previously near-decade-unconscious DA-DA VAN WYNKLE. There, Da-da used his full name for the very first time.

This is not to be confused with dadavanwynkie. That's a totally other thing, a medical condition not to be made fun of; it's not nice to reference those poor unfortunates whose garage does NOT sport galactic hot dog and zucchini machinery. Nor should you mistake this post as issuing forth from Da-da Von Wynkie, the Austrian Spandex Pioneer and Sausage Enthusiast, not that there's anything wrong with that. And NO, not Wynkelhorn. Da-da always puts LACES OUT. Da-da lost his train of thought again, but who cares? Welcome! Jeez, now Da-da knows why politicians babble: not making any sense is so very very liberating.

Kids, BE SAFE.

Welcome to Parenthood You Trophy Parent You

Da-da's first SAHD trophy. The gift that keeps on giving.

Overheard @ Da-da's

Ma-ma and Da-da were just talking behind the scenes, while 6YO Bronko howled about something in the other room...

Ma-ma: "He's a yeller."

Da-da: "When he gets old, he'll be OLD YELLER."

[Bahdumpbump-PSH.] The 7:30 show is totally different than the 9:30. Thank God.

Da-da Strikes Back

That Inexplicable Da-da Awareness

Do Not Disturb Till Doomsday

Got Yer Nose

"Boys! Da-da was joking about the nose job. Don't use the... NOT THE VICE..."

hAPPY hOLIDAYS fROM a mAN cALLED dA-DA

This Holiday, Make It THORAZINE

Yes, we may have survived the Apocalypse, but we still have to deal with FAMILY.
(Da-da uses the stun/tag/release method.)

Triumph of a Man Called Da-da SUPERSIZED For A Better Tomorrow; Unicorn Unleashed on Unsuspecting Public

Da-da hid a manly UNICORN in the new template. Isn't the future exciting?!

A Rare Pic of Da-da

Behold a rare pic of Da-da without bandages. What, you were expecting FACIAL FEATURES?

Da-das That Time Forgot

Even werewolf da-das eventually discover their feminine side.

Da-da Without the Bandages REVEALED

Quite an improvement, don't you think?

Da-da's Fan Club Begins to Coalesce... in a Pink and SPOOKY Fashion

That is so sweet. Da-da esp. likes the spooky MIB on the right.

What Da-da is Hiding

Da-da is a genius with tires. He is, indeed, a MASTER of tire fu.

A Sign Unto You

Why This Blog is Entitled, "TRIUMPH of A Man Called Da-da"

Someone who looked like the Ninth Dr. Who once asked Da-da why this blog is entitled, "Triumph of a Man Called Da-da."

First off, it's pronounced, "DAA-DAA." It's what Da-da's been hearing for a decade, so he responds to it. He's forgotten his own name.

Second, Da-da informed the inquirer, a young and unmarried, non-child-laden, early-release scaled model of Hugh Hefner, that the title on his business card is, "DA-DA," CEO to the small, the loud, the diaper-challenged. You've heard women say -- and Da-da will affirm -- that it's The Hardest Job in the World. It's also The Best Job... and the The Worst Job. Basically, it's somewhere between Christmas and a trip to the Emergency Room.

Third, and most importantly: Da-da is YOUR Da-da. He is, in plain fact, a kind of Meta-Da-da: parent to those who need one; leader of those who need one; student and educator of all; asker of difficult questions; truthsifter and speaker of unspeakable truths; and general naked-emperor pointer-outer.

Da-da does this free of charge. 

And YES, Da-da talks and writes in the Third Person, since Da-da has lost a couple Persons in this da-da dada transition. It happens. And YES, da-da is also dada, each indistinguishable from the other.

Finally, those born before 1979 may recall the movie, "A Man Called Horse," with a young (early) Dumbledore... er, Richard Harris, as well as its many sequels ("Triumph of A Man Called Horse," "Complete Flaccid Collapse of A Man Called Horse," "Radioactive Underpants of a Man Called Horse," etc.). Anyway, being a parent -- esp. a meta-parent -- is much like the Native American ritual featured in said film, where the supplicant, of his own free will, hangs painfully for hours and hours and hours and hours in a hot sweaty stinky room from a long sharpened horse bone inserted beneath the skin of the supplicant's chest until he either passes out or has an OOB experience and someone has to stab him in the back with a spear to wake him up. Ow. But in a GOOD way.

Being a parent is like that every single day... at least for Da-da.

Anyone who tells you different is rich and has 10 helpers. Or is selling something. Or is a Divine Being.

In truth, EVERY DAY you survive as a parent is a minor triumph. Every day you advance the tribe one step UP the near-infinite staircase of truth is a major triumph.