Da-da's Peanuts Energy Discovery

Keep cranking out that angst-energy, kid.

Charles Schultz must've sighed all the time, poor guy. But what he never could've known was that his angst could potentially produce a whole new green alternative energy source that could satisfy the energy chomping needs of the entire earth. Yup, Da-da's talking 'bout SIGH energy. (Oh, not another fake acronym... alright, howbout, "Sigh Integration Gone Hoobah" energy. Happy?)

Charlie Brown and the other Peanuts characters SIGH, on average, once every three seconds. We've already got the primary Sigh producers -- Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy, Schroeder, Sally, Peppermint Patty, etc. -- now all we need (get right on that) is to create that hoobah SIGH apparatus... and then of course attach the thing to teenagers, the world's largest untapped SIGH energy source, and show them Peanuts specials over and over. Free energy for all!

Note that future SIGH Storage facilities would be fullest on and around Valentine's Day, as well as during the various proms, finals week, and of course every time homework is assigned, so that means MORE HOMEWORK, kids. (**SIGH.**) Think of the limitless teen energy being wasted -- as well as that of people stuck working in cubicles all day, and that of parents waiting for tantrums to end, and of really anyone who hates their job, which is about 98% of the earth's population. Sure, all these hominid sighs are big producers of carbon dioxide and are probably THE main cause of climate change, but good luck trying to solve that problem this side of a Soylent Green rendering plant and cracker factory. Best we can do is harness all that human angst and put it to good use, posthaste. 2012 is looking to be a SIGH paradise; Da-da knows he's certainly doing his part.

Keep cranking it out, kid.