This just in...
Freud apparently took a tumble early this morning. The late psychotherapist and father of the scientific method was discovered insensate, supine and half-naked, after what can only be described as, "a prolonged discourse on... well, on SOMETHING SUPERAFFENGEIL." No monkeys could be found to translate, as they were preoccupied, though two small monkey boys have been detained for questioning.
Adding SQUISH to OW (owsquish?), the body was later accidently smooshed beneath an enormous basket of American laundry.
Said the lady of the house, making a small face: "I didn't see him there." She later expressed regret, but also concern at Freud's dishabille. The psychotherapist's couch and drug paraphernalia have been retained by the authorities until next of kin can be contacted. In the meantime, a memorial was held in the master bedroom closet -- and a salmon was named -- though the two events appear to be wholly unrelated.
In a bizarre twist that wasn't actually that bizarre, the salmon -- allegedly The Salmon of Knowledge -- was named, "Sigmund."
No fish were harmed during the ordeal, though Sigmund's days are numbered since he started smoking. The unseen monkeys, on the other hand, continue to be very excited in another room, typing away at yet another Shakespearean sonnet.
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