Tipping Sacred Cows: The New Peanuts Movie

This magic is gone, save for DVDs.

Da-da and family were in a theater not too long ago to see some kid movie Da-da has strangely forgotten. Anyway, during the previews, we were at first pleased to see that a new Charlie Brown feature was soon to be released... but grew less and less interested -- and indeed, horrified (Da-da's boys especially) -- as we watched the preview. There was something WRONG about it. It wasn't the 3-D-ish animation, it was...

It was the music.

There was no Vince Guaraldi jazz music accompanying the images we all grew up with. The Charlie Brown canon simply does not work without a tasty jazz trio accompaniment. Indeed, we --  AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE THEATER -- were repulsed (and making repulsed noises) by the marriage of Peanuts characters and contemporary music. It was awful. Given the fluidity of "film" these days, they could easily swap sound tracks, but Da-da fears they won't.

Perhaps Da-da et al are old-school purists, but it seems to us that the Charles Schulz family has made a tactical error in allowing this (one of Da-da's friends called it, "an abomination") to exist; a mistake, hopefully, that they take steps to correct.

P.S.

Charlie Brown rapping? Really? This is Rap's jump-the-shark moment. It was never music anyway.

What's Wrong, Charlie Brown?

Um... you might want to buckle up, Linus.

So Long 2012: A Da-da Retrospective of Unusual Shallowness and Symbolic Thingie (5 of 6)

Of course, like most years, 2012 saw more than its share of celebrity "aha" moments...
...moments that Da-da won't rehash because they don't warrant rehashing, save one...

...one that was heartbreaking. Yes, that's Charles Schulz as a boy. He really was Charlie Brown.

Oh, and we're still stuck with the 3-D movie fad -- and now on TVs -- and it's still stupid.

Da-da's Great Pumpkin Halloween Smorgasbord

Da-da in a Dark and Underworldly Place 2.0

It's Snowing Again...

...LOOK AT THE BONES.

Da-da's Peanuts Energy Discovery

Keep cranking out that angst-energy, kid.

Charles Schultz must've sighed all the time, poor guy. But what he never could've known was that his angst could potentially produce a whole new green alternative energy source that could satisfy the energy chomping needs of the entire earth. Yup, Da-da's talking 'bout SIGH energy. (Oh, not another fake acronym... alright, howbout, "Sigh Integration Gone Hoobah" energy. Happy?)

Charlie Brown and the other Peanuts characters SIGH, on average, once every three seconds. We've already got the primary Sigh producers -- Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy, Schroeder, Sally, Peppermint Patty, etc. -- now all we need (get right on that) is to create that hoobah SIGH apparatus... and then of course attach the thing to teenagers, the world's largest untapped SIGH energy source, and show them Peanuts specials over and over. Free energy for all!

Note that future SIGH Storage facilities would be fullest on and around Valentine's Day, as well as during the various proms, finals week, and of course every time homework is assigned, so that means MORE HOMEWORK, kids. (**SIGH.**) Think of the limitless teen energy being wasted -- as well as that of people stuck working in cubicles all day, and that of parents waiting for tantrums to end, and of really anyone who hates their job, which is about 98% of the earth's population. Sure, all these hominid sighs are big producers of carbon dioxide and are probably THE main cause of climate change, but good luck trying to solve that problem this side of a Soylent Green rendering plant and cracker factory. Best we can do is harness all that human angst and put it to good use, posthaste. 2012 is looking to be a SIGH paradise; Da-da knows he's certainly doing his part.

Keep cranking it out, kid.

That Great Pumpkin Look of Parenthood

This works on so many levels.

It's Sunday, Charlie Brown

I'm Not Wearing Pants, Charlie Brown

It's not a well-known fact, but the holidays are PANTS-OPTIONAL. Polar bear Da-da's been wearing shorts since 1902, AND BIG BLUE VEINS ARE SEXY. Are, too.