If You Only Knew THE POWER of the Deep Humor Insertion

Da-da is the pantomime zebra of comedy, at least in his own paddock.

Ok, parents and geeks and lovers of geeks, what do Clone Wars, Transformers, Power Rangers and their Tweenish etcetera ilk have in common? They have absolutely no sense of humor. Born primarily to sell action figures and video games, Clone Wars and Transformers are the worst, offering a tax-audit banality of all things grumpy: grumpy fight sequences, grumpy fear and loathing, grumpy revenge, grumpy anger, grumpy talk of revenge... all redundantly sawing the same boring log into two boring logs.

Those of you old bastards who've been intercoursing the penguin around the block, think about what made the old Star Trek episodes work so well. Of course: they were like real life. Just like a day in NYC, each episode featured cheesy aliens, cheesy mock-danger, delicious moments of tragically hip cheese-clothing and brie-decor salted with skimpy foil costumes of delicate flagellation beneath a soundtrack of sexy cheese. But they also had what makes real life livable (or tolerable): flashes of humor and occasional absurdity.

That's right. You already know that life itself is completely ridiculous half the time most of the time. Da-da can wax this protrepic because Da-da parodies everything -- even Da-da -- smooshing these word-thingies into semantic blobs of satiricistic parodyness -- parodicity THAT WORKS. See? It worked... RIGHT THERE. So, what's Da-da's point? Oh, right. Taking yourself too seriously.

Taking yourself too seriously leads to all kinds of woes: elementary school administration, careers in politics,  the bottom of the Marianas Trench, etc. Da-da doesn't have this problem. Quite the opposite. So. Ahem. Mr. Producer. Stop futzing with high-priced talent and send extremely cheap cost-effective Da-da an email, so our coasts can do each other and bi-coastal it up, resulting in little coasts that'll barf and poop and whine, yet somehow induce endless terms of fjordic endearment. Or something like that. Come on, Da-da's gotta do something besides ferry children and pick up toys and clean up barf and kill run-on sentence boredom -- precisely the kind of skills Hollywood 3.0 needs. Da-da has PROPERTIES for you, Kirby. Endless low-rent properties. So, give Da-da a holler. Operator is standing by. Ready, Divine?

Yikes. Old Guard + Weird Guard = SCARY MAGIC, baby.