Your Basic Pre-Apocalyptic Rapprochement Synchronicity (or "Why Da-da Ain't 'Gunnin' fer 'Squatch ")

Don't do it, 'Squatch.

Ok, this is weird. Da-da was flipping through his littany of bizarro news sites while Bronko and Nagurski were watching aftersnack/snickersnack TV (they're deep into, "Timeblazers," an awesome show out of Canada; the subject for said episode was, "Living in North America 300-odd years ago"). Anyway, right in the middle of it, Nagurski, who's gonna be seven soon, glances over at Da-da and says, "You know, I think Bigfoot is just misunderstood." Da-da blinked at this totally out-of-the-blue, plate-o-shrimp, non-sequitur, big-word Delphic utterance and asked, What?

Bigfoot Mystery SOLVED, Da-da Style

Time for a spa treatment.

Bigfoot is stinky. And hairy -- nay, SHAGGY. Unkempt. Nails are uncut. He's certainly not one for personal hygiene. He likes his privacy. He's a little heavy-ish and misanthropic. He leaves big footprints (um, hence the name). He's cranky and lives far from civilization. He occasionally screams and howls for no reason. Any of this sound familiar? It does to a parent of small children.

Yes. Bigfoot is simply A PARENT WHO'S GONE OFF THE DEEP END and is wearing fluffy slippers in the mud. Young children have driven a group of these poor individuals insane and they've just not showered or shaved or got a haircut or manicure in a lo-ooong long time. Kinda like Da-da, who is occasionally mistaken for bigfoot.

So. There ya go. Another Great Mystery solved. Waiter, Monkee haircuts and absinthe high colonics for all of Da-da's bigfoot friends!

Baby, you done let yourself go.