That Saturday Night Look of Parenthood

That's it, your mother and da-da are going OUT. You monsters stay duct-taped to the wall here
with the sitter, and don't make any false moves because this gun shoots HOMEWORK.

It's Always Superlatives Weekend

Best incomprehensible cat behavior.

Hey, That's My House

Hi, all. A little housekeeping note. Google deleted all of Da-da's subscribers when they forced Da-da to accept Google's new draconian editing format (which you probably never see), which is slower and harder to use. Anyway, c you see on the right-hand sidebar. If you don't see the feed you want, let Da-da know so he can add it. And be sure to feed those dogs.

Should You Switch Pediatricians?

Nah.

It's Always Superlatives Week

Best cat bread EVER. (Hope you've had your shots.)

It's Always Superlatives Week

Best kid bed rails EVER. They've worked to keep Da-da ensconced for 92 years, now. A little help...

Scenes From Da-da's Mind-Roasting Summer

Despite being repeatedly removed in padded restraints, Da-da still remains Number One!
("Number One WHAT" being an intense matter of debate.)

Da-da's Brain Has Left the Building...

...and is currently giving Ma-ma a hug. Give us a kiss, mater...

It's Always Superlatives Weekend

Da-da's feeble mind reels with sarcastic replies to this gem.
Feel free to vote on your favorite caption. EVER:

1. Best chick magnet. EVER.
2. Best birth control device. EVER.
3. Best, "Honey, I'm Just Glad to See you," moment.
4. Best reason to score PASTRAMI.
5. Best Football Tailgating Option.
6. Best Freudian used car misdirection. EVER.
7. Best wedding gift. EVER.
8. Best reason to get married. EVER.
9. Best combination of PICKLE and LEMON.
10. Best peni$ car transformation.
11. Best reason to own a Cadillac.
12. Best indication of potential pregnancy. EVER.

Warm Up That Pumpkin, Gertrude!

Since parents rarely look up any higher than their screaming children, Da-da's here to remind you that tomorrow is the first day of fall, which starts at approx. 10:49 am EDT on Sept. 22nd. Happy Autumnal Equinox, everyone!

"Da-da, What Do You Do When We're in School?"

Da-da smears that leftover oatmeal all over face and GOES TO TOWN!

Wednesday Cake is Full of Whoa

The Monday House Rules

The Three Rules of Monday.

It's So Very Monday

It's So Monday

Mondays even make Mel cry.

It's Monday

Pretty much says it all.

That Calm And Rational Astro-/Geo-Physical Explanation For The Apocalypse You Were Looking For

Every once in a while, you stumble across the truth. For those interested in a precise, scientific explanation for precisely what's going on in the world from a astro-/geo-physical standpoint -- uncolored by political phlogiston -- the following bears intense scrutiny, as it is as factual and unbiased as Astro-/Geo-physical Da-da has encountered. Which says a lot. The following will inform you, quite specifically, exactly what's happening from a scientific, heliocentric and galactic viewpoint. Get a cup of coffee and carefully peruse this excerpt from the...

PLANETOPHYSICAL STATE OF THE EARTH AND LIFE
By DR. ALEXEY N. DMITRIEV*

Buckle up. It's all quite fascinating, and has been around for awhile, but Da-da's gonna start right... here:

The Earth Reorganization Processes

Strange particles believed to be emanating from the elusive ‘dark matter’ at the center of the galaxy have been confirmed to be bombarding Earth. Two physicists from the prestigious Department of Physics and Astronomy at University of California discovered more gamma-rays bombarding Earth than believed by astronomers. The stream of electromagnetic radiation (spewed by the process of intensive radioactive decay and other other high-energy emmisions) may be triggering the bizarre mutation of matter and an incredible energy cloud that an astrophysicist says threatens.

Excerpt from: Planetophysical state of the Earth and Life

EARTH TRANSFORMATION OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM



We will list the recent large-scale events in the Solar System in order to fully understand, and comprehend, the Plane to Physical transformations taking place. This development of events, as it has become clear in the last few years, is being caused by material and energetic non-uniformity’s in anisotropic interstellar space, in its travel through interstellar space.

The Heliosphere travels in the direction of the Solar Apex in the Hercules Constellation. On its way it has met (1960′s) non-homogeneities of matter and energy containing ions of Hydrogen, Helium, and Hydroxyl in addition to other elements and combinations. This kind of interstellar space dispersed plasma is presented by magnetized strip structures and striations. The Heliosphere (solar system) transition through this structure has led to an increase of the shock wave in front of the Solar System from 3 to 4 AU, to 40 AU, or more. This shock wave thickening has caused the formation of a collusive plasma in a parietal layer, which has led to a plasma overdraft around the Solar System.

This breakthrough constitutes a kind of matter and energy donation made by interplanetary space to our Solar System.

The recorded and documented observations of all geophysical (planetary environmental) processes, and the clearly significant and progressive modifications in all reported solar-terrestrial physical science relationships, combined with the integral effects of the antropohenedus activity in our Solar System’s Heliosphere, causes us to conclude that a global reorganization and transformation of the Earth’s physical and environmental qualities is taking place now; before our very eyes. This current rearrangement constitutes one more in a long line of cosmo-historic events of significant Solar System evolutionary transformations which are caused by the periodic modification, and amplification, of the Heliospheric-Planetary-Sun processes. In the case of our own planet these new events have placed an intense pressure on the geophysical environment; causing new qualities to be observed in the natural processes here on Earth; causes and effects which have already produced hybrid processes throughout the planets of our Solar System; where the combining of effects on natural matter and energy characteristics have been observed and reported.

THE GEOMAGNETIC FIELD INVERSION



The travel of Earth’s magnetic poles, especially the Antarctic magnetic pole, shows that in the last 100 years this magnetic pole has traveled almost 900 km towards.  (which is moving towards the Eastern Siberian world magnetic anomaly by way of the Arctic Ocean).

It leads us to the conclusion that the currently observed polar travel acceleration is not just a shift or digression from the norm, but is in fact an inversion of the magnetic poles; in full process.

It is now seen that the acceleration of polar travel may grow to a rate of up to 200 km per year. This means that a polar inversion may happen far more rapidly than is currently supposed.

We must also emphasize the significant growth of the recognized world magnetic anomalies (Canadian, East-Siberian, Brazilian, and Antarctic) in the Earth’s magnetic reorganization.

The increasing and immense amounts of matter and energy radiating from the Sun’s Solar Wind, and Interplanetary Space, by means previously discussed, has began to rush into these widened slots in the polar regions causing the Earth’s crust, the oceans, and the polar ice caps to warm.

Geomagnetic field paleoinversions, and their after effects, has lead us to the unambiguous, and straight forth, conclusion that these present processes being observed are following precisely the same scenarios as those of their distant ancestors.

Signs of the inversion of the magnetic field are becoming more intense in frequency and scale. For example: During the previous 25 million years, the frequency of magnetic inversions was twice in half a million years while the frequency of inversions for the last 1 million years is 8 to 14 inversions or one inversion each 71 to 125 thousand years. What is essential here is that during prior periods of maximum frequency of inversions there has also been a corresponding decrease in the level of oceans world-wide (10 to 150 meters) from contraction caused by the wide development of crustal folding processes. Periods of less or frequency of geomagnetic field inversions reveals sharp increases of the world ocean level due to the priority of expansion and stretching processes in the earth’s  crust. Therefore, the level of World’s oceans depends on the global characteristic of the contraction and expansion processes in force at the time.

There are developing events which also indicate a sudden and sharp breaking of the Earth’s meteorological machinery.

CLIMATE TRANSFORMATIONS



The temperature regime of any given phase of climatic reorganization is characterized by contrasts, and instabilities. The widely quoted, and believed, “Greenhouse Effect” scenario for total climatic changes is by far the weakest explanation, or link, in accounting for this reorganization. It has already been observed that the growth in the concentration of CO2 has stopped, and that the methane content in the atmosphere has began to decrease  while the temperature imbalance, and the common global pressure field dissolution has proceeded to grow.

The Earth’s temperature regime is becoming more, and more, dependent on external influences. The representative regulating processes, or basis, of these general climatic rearrangements are:

1. A new ozone layer distribution.
2. Radiation material (plasma) inflows and discharges through the polar regions, and through the world’s magnetic anomaly locations.
3. Growth of the direct ionospheric effects on the relationship between the Earth’s meteorological (weather), magnetic, and temperature fields.


There is a growing probability that we are moving into a rapid temperature instability period similar to the one that took place 10,000 years ago.

4. That annual temperatures increased by 7 degrees centigrade.
5. That precipitation grew in the range of 3 to 4 times.
6. That the mass of dust material increased by a factor of 100.

Such high-speed transformations of the global climatic mechanism parameters, and its effects on Earth’s physical and biospheric qualities seems that more, and more, that the Earth’s temperature increases are dependent upon, and directly linked to, space-terrestrial interactions; be it Earth-Sun, Earth-Solar System, and/or Earth-Interstellar.

Temperature gradient changes, and alterations, over the entire planet would create new thermodynamic conditions for entire regions; especially when the hydrospheres (oceans) begin to participate in the new thermal non-equilibrium.

A study supports this conclusion, and the consideration of a highly possible abrupt cooling of the European and North American Continents. The probability of such a scenario increases when you take into account the ten year idleness of the North Atlantic hydrothermal pump. With this in mind, the creation of a global, ecology-oriented, climate map which might reveal these global catastrophes becomes critically important.

The classes or categories of effects brought about by the Earth’s current stage of reorganization are very diverse.



There are nine types of “significant catastrophes:”

1. Flooding
2. Hurricanes
3. Drought
4. Frost
5. Storms
6. Epidemics
7. Earthquakes
8. Starvation
9. Landslides

One must keep in mind that the growing complexity of climatic and weather patterns signals a transformation tending towards a new state, that we are moving in the direction of climatic chaos.

In reality this transition state of our climatic machinery is placing new requirements upon Earth’s entire biosphere; which does include the human species.

The overall pattern of the generation and movement of cyclones has also changed

Significant  increase of Earthquakes and Active Volcanoes.

Increased ocean levels caused by the shedding of ice from the polar regions will lead to sharp changes in coast lines, a redistribution of land and sea relationships

Implicit consequences are those processes which are below the threshold of usual human perception, and are therefore not brought to our common attention.

Instrument recordings, and even direct observations, of these phenomena throughout Earth’s electromagnetic field provides evidence that an immense transformation of Earth’s environment is taking place.

The increase in the frequency, and scope, of natural self-luminous formations in the atmosphere and geospace forces. The processes of generation, and the existence of such formations, spreading all over the Earth, represents a remarkable physical phenomenon.

What is most unusual about these natural self-luminous formations is that while they have distinct features of well-known physical processes, they are in entirely unusual combinations, and are accompanied by process features which cannot be explained on the basis of existing physical knowledge. Thus, features of intense electromagnetic processes are being found in the space inside and near these natural self-luminous objects. These features include:

1. Intense electromagnetic emissions ranging from the micrometer wave band through the visible diapason, to television, and radio wavelengths.
2. Electric and magnetic field changes such as electric breakdowns, and the magnetization of rocks and technical objects.
3. Destructive electrical discharges.
4. Gravitation effects such as levitation.


Earth’s current transformational processes, and the effects they will have on global demographic dynamics.

The sharp rise of our technogeneous system’s destructive force on a planetary as well as a cosmic scale, has now placed the future survival of our technocratic civilization in question.

The situation that has been created here in our Heliosphere is of external, Interstellar, cosmic space origin, and is herein assumed to be caused by the underlying fundamental auto-oscillation, space-physical, processes of continuous creation that has shaped, and continues to evolve our Universe. The present excited state of our Heliosphere exists within the whole, or entire, organism that makes up the Solar System; the Sun, Planets, Moons, Comets, and Asteroids, as well as the plasmas, and/or electromagnetic mediums, and structures, of Interplanetary Space. The response to these Interstellar energy and matter injections into our Heliosphere has been, and continues to be, a series of newly observed energetic processes and formations on all of the Planets; between the Planets and their Moons, and the Planets and the Sun.

Earth’s ability to adapt to these external actions and transference’s is aggravated, made more difficult, by the technogeneous alterations we have made to the natural quality, or state, of our geological-geophysical environment. Our Planet Earth is now in the process of a dramatic transformation; by altering the electromagnetic skeleton through a shift of the geomagnetic field poles, and through compositional changes in the ozone, and hydrogen, saturation levels of its gas-plasma envelopes.

These processes are becoming more and more intense, and frequent, as evidenced by the real time increase in “non-periodic transient events”; ie., catastrophes.

Here are reasons favoring, or pointing to, the fact that a growth in the ethical, or spiritual quality, of humanity would decrease the number and intensity of complex catastrophes.


It has become vitally important that a world chart be prepared setting forth the favorable, and the catastrophic, regions on Earth taking into account the quality of the geologic-geophysical environment, the variety and intensity of cosmic influences, and the real level of spiritual-ethical development of the people occupying those areas.


It is reasonable to point out that our Planet will soon be experiencing these new conditions of growing energy signifying the transition into a new state and quality of Space-Earth relationship.

All of this places humanity, and each one of us, squarely in front of a very difficult and topical problem; the creation of a revolutionary advancement in knowledge which will require a transformation of our thinking and being equal to this never-before-seen phenomena now presencing itself in our world.

Whoa. Astro- and geo-physically speaking, this is incredibly interesting. From a "HUH?" standpoint, this basically means that... well, nothing changes like change, and you should be ready for anything, but certainly not from a basis of fear. No. No fear. More from a, "WOW, man," perspective, and a willingness to take anything that comes, head-on, and with a sense of childlike curiosity. Let idiot governments take fear-stances, buying billions of hollow-points and FEMA coffins, while you yourself retain a calm, inner core of peace, serving as a backbone of fearlessness and understanding for your brothers worldwide.

Read more

It's Always Superlatives Week

Best cat levitation (possessed).

Oxymoron of the Day

Da-da isn't sure what's worse: the face-slap oxymoron, or the fact that it's based on LIBOR.
Anyone care to redefine organized crime?
(That's not Da-da's card, btw. Da-da barters himself out as Santa.)

Da-da's Boys, Circa 2042

Principal 9 From Outer Space

Principal 9 requires all PTA bio-replicants to remain in their seats!

The PTA That Fell to Earth

"See? It says so right here under Bylaws & Restrictions:
'ALL PTA MEMBERS MUST HAVE SILVER... oh.'"

Retro Parenting 101: Getting Along With Your Brother Through Superior Firepower

Hey, kid. Have a gun!

Weird Sky Anomaly or Santa's Workshop Door?

Since Da-da loves sky phenomena and toys flying into his head, here's the latest bizarro event, video'd in the arctic near a toy mining facility this week. Apparently, it happens all the time and the multiple witnesses weren't fazed... which seems stranger than the actual phenomena. The below video has various views.



So... could the portal to Santa's Workshop have been found? COULD SANTA BE...

He's actually supposed to be very a very sweet man.

UPDATE: Could the above light columns be related to the light column anomalies recently seen in Japan?

Whoa.

Da-da wrote about these back on August 24th (linky), and he's since learned that these are apparently supposed to be a very good sign of peace and light to come, unicorns notwithstanding -- which is not to say that Santa is coming to your town, unless you're good, for goodness sake...

Let's Get This Cat Box Off the Ground: Another Open Letter to Roger Goodell, NFL Commish and Slow Learner

This is for you, Rog, from the King of Kid Advocacy.

Hi, Roger. Yeah, it's Da-da, again. You obviously didn't read Da-da's previous letter regarding all the R-rated commercials you were allowing NFL broadcasters to show at nine o'clock on a Sunday morning, starting back in 2009. Well, THEY'VE GOTTEN WORSE. At 9:58 am this past Sunday morning, Da-da was curious to see a few opening kick-offs, so he tuned in a bit early, only to have to shut off the damn TV so Da-da's 5 and 7 year old boys didn't see a woman getting raped while grinning villians blew people away with shotguns. Da-da KNOWS this is the kinda thing that goes on 24/7 at your house, Rog, but that doesn't mean the rest of us need to strap our own kids in the counseling chair before they learn to tie their shoes. Roginator, would YOU like to come to Da-da's house at one o'clock in the morning to comfort Da-da's kids when they have nightmares about your ugly hype-world of fear and violence and cruelty and greed? Da-da's guessing no. Da-da's 110% sure he doesn't want you, or any NFL broadcaster, within a hundred miles of Da-da's progeny, anyway.

So. What now?

In lieu of the non-policing we in America have in terms of commercial violence (Da-da will leave that one open for interpretation), does Da-da need to bring a class-action lawsuit against broadcasters Fox and CBS and ESPN for failing to rate R-rated commercials before they air in prime time? And maybe one against the FCC, which is supposed to, "protect the airwaves"? Perhaps you could take a step toward ameliorating legislation and civil suits by, in future, offering the following disclaimer before any R-rated commercials:

"THE FOLLOWING COMMERCIAL GLORIFIES EXTREME VIOLENCE, RAPE, MURDER, BESTIALITY AND UNRESTRAINED FLUORIDATION. VIEWERS YOUNGER THAN 90 ARE ASKED TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL OR GO OUTSIDE AND BREATHE SOME FRESH AIR OR, GOD FORBID, READ A BOOK, WHILE OF COURSE REFUSING TO EVER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE FOLLOWING WEAK-ASS PRODUCT THAT CAN ONLY BE SOLD THROUGH FEAR AND SALACIOUS INTRIGUE... OH WAIT, NEVER MIND, OUR TIME'S UP. SORRY. BUY THIS THING [INSERT PICTURE OF THING HELD BY SCANTILY CLAD WOMAN]."

Or, perhaps broadcasters might go back to the way things used to be, back when decency wasn't a four-letter word. Back when broadcasters had a conscience -- WAY back -- when they took the high road and agreed to show no R-rated material until AFTER 8:00 pm, reserving G-rated content for the daylight hours when little kids might be watching. What a concept.

However, if broadcasters and the NFL can only survive by pandering fear-porn at 9:00 am on a Sunday morning, then broadcasters and the NFL have officially Jumped the Shark, and television is indeed dead.

[Wait... Da-da's a telepathic link with His Rogination, has been activated... it's unpleasant and painful and kinda icky, but...] Ah, Rogerlicious is saying that that's what America IS, now: one giant R-rated commercial that you turn off the second you see it. Oh, and that it's also Jumped the Shark. [Telepathic link terminated. Phew.]

At least we still have the right to turn Fonzie's courageous shark-jumping off, just like some people who shall be nameless, have been doing with the U.S. Constitution and all our rights. And with all our money. Does Da-da need to offer any more reasons to join The Sandworm Party?

As usual, Da-da answered his own question. He knows exactly what he's gonna do: he's gonna shut it off. AGAIN. So, Rog-beast, enjoy your petty dictatorship. (Same for all you politicians and banksters out there.) Enjoy your lies, your cheating, your insanity. And go ahead, His Rogerness, CHEAT the NFL referees out of their pensions and allow the games to be officiated by blind apes and bemused llamas. Da-da isn't worried, as he knows that strong winds cannot blow all day. Da-da has begun his trek to inner peace (two steps forward, three steps back). How did Da-da do this? By turning OFF the TV. And the computer, mostly. This post helped, too. And Rogermatic, here's to knowing that even YOU -- and all those greedy politicians and banksters and Illuminati funyuns -- will one day see the light and achieve enlightenment and DO THE RIGHT THING. One day. Waaaaaaaay in the future. On the Last Day of the Universe. Here's to you. We'll all be waiting, patiently. With the remote.

In the meantime, enjoy this preview of a cat food commercial slated for 2013. Get all the kids together and let them watch it, too! Let's get this cat box off the ground!

"KITTY CAN HAS MORE GROWTH HORMONE!"

It's Always Superlatives Week

Best rodent realization EVER.

ATTACK of the Bacon Grampires!

Grandma says: "GIVE US ALL YOUR BACON!
Oh, and you're not good enough for our daughter. And your children
are cute, but they could've been sired by anybody."

Since we're only about 50 days shy of Halloween, it's time to get ready for real horror! Ready? Da-da's inlaws just left, AND THEY ATE ALL OF DA-DA'S BACON. Fifty pounds-worth. In fact, there's currently no bacon within the tri-state area, turning Da-da's Boolean Nether Region environs into A BACON-FREE ZONE... not to mention activating Da-da's now infamous and annoying RAMPANT CAPITALIZATION module. Damn.

Come on, old people aren't *supposed* to eat bacon! Even Da-da can't have more than one piece without feeling like he's gonna die. (Factually, Da-da now eats meat only on special occasions, like when he takes out the trash.) To combat said Bacon Grampires -- who were also ingesting all of Da-da's Wild Turkey and Chloral Hydrate, hogging all the bandwidth and doing laundry every five minutes -- Da-da made one of these:

...and BAKED THE CRAP OUT OF IT. The bacon grampires fled to their subterranean retirement Shangri La, singing Lost Bacon Mahabharatas, whatever that means. This of course meant MORE cross-shaped bacon meatloaf for Da-da, who not only took out the trash, HE HOSED OUT THE GARBAGE CANS. Manly AND OCD. Can it get any better than that? Yes, it can, but that's a whole other post.

Da-das That Time Forgot

Even werewolf da-das eventually discover their feminine side.

It's Always Superlatives Week

Best lion hug EVER... unless that lion's expecting a little après-étreindre action
if you know what Da-da means and he thinks you do.

The Brand That Binds

Today's Friday drive thru strip mall ambassador will love you long time.

Thursday Night at Phillies

It's Always Superlatives Week

Best six-legged pinata EVER.

That Dramatic Look of Parenthood

A near-fire -- TWICE -- and a bunch of burnt dishwasher drama has been weighing Da-da down, lately,
hence his lack of posts -- and his dishpan hands.

Maybe Da-da should get some of those mad scientists black rubber gloves to keep his hands
looking springtime fresh. And sure, he could use a manicure, but those claws come in handy...

That Post-Holiday Re-Entry Look of Parenthood

It's not the speed, really. Da-da just wishes he hadn't had all that cough syrup this morning.
(Name that movie quote.)

Why Da-da Loves Ma-ma

Ma-ma takes a licking, but keeps on ticking... provided Da-da changes her oil every 3000 miles.