Surprisingly Accurate (and Rather Disgusting) BIRTH-Day Cake

Just close your eyes and think: "Hey, cake!"

Friday's Electric Cake is Full of Whoa

Yeah, Da-da's hot. He's been watching his figure. Removing five ribs helped a lot, too.

Wednesday Cake is Full of Whoa

The Seven Days of CAKE

CAKE is powerful. You heard it here, first. Cake can cause Revolutions. It can break marriages (e.g., the bride and groom couldn't agree on the CAKE). Cake in the face can cause riots. Files contained therein can loose felons onto the world, etc. Cake is also key to controlling children. Children will OBEY if cake is in the cards. Of course, said obeyance vanishes AFTER cake. But above all...

...CAKE makes Mondays bearable. Mondays SUCK. Oh, wait... did anyone mention that there's CAKE? CAKE! YAY! Cake also makes Tuesdays easier to bear...

...as do donuts, but let's face it: donuts ain't cake. Tuesday cake can also be prophetic and even stop banking scandals in their tracks. Yes, Tuesday cake is LIBOR Scandal kryptonite. Wednesday cake on the other hand...

... is simply something to look forward to... esp. if you get to dangle a participle and wax elliptic.

Thursday cake is always intense. See? It says so right there. It's also both insousciant and effervescent, in a cakey way. Friday cake, however...

...well, Friday doesn't really need cake -- esp. the same damn cake you've had every day that week... but when it's there... well, Friday cake can be pretty cakey, so you might as well go with it. Which brings us to Saturday and Sunday...

Ew.

Saturday and Sunday ARE cake, which after a whole week of cake can simply be TOO MUCH DAMN CAKE. But even too much cake is good cake!

Cake is indeed powerful. That is, except when it comes to Da-da. Because Da-da doesn't really like cake. Unless it's COCONUT CAKE...

Da-da will walk on hot coals for coconut cake -- even UGLY COCONUT CAKE.

Thursday Cake Has Far to Go

No, really.

Yet Another Firewalking St. Patty's Day Memory Lane Extravaganza (Special Xirag Ed.)

Awesome.

In honor of St. Patrick bribing all the snakes into leaving Ireland (he used a CostCo dinosaur sheet cake laced with Guinness), Da-da has stolen someone else's cake recipe and made a multi-level green monstrocity not unlike the one pictured above, but a lot less attractive and flavorful and with tons more green food coloring and... ok, the cake has at least nine pints of Guinness in it... and more in Da-da... but this is just to ensure that the cake sings that sing-y drunkie sing-y song that drunk sing-y Irish-wannabes sing when they're... uh, making Irish Guinness cakes... hic.

In light of this Hoobah Incident, Da-da would also like to throw out a jaunty HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Xirag, another Mr. Mom and fellow alien construct, THE ONE WHO TALKED DA-DA INTO DOING THIS BREEDING THING IN THE FIRST PLACE, the rat bastard. Xirag must be something like THIRTY TWO YEARS OLD, today. Krikey. That's old. Da-da throws rocks at anyone over 30, so this chunk of chalcedony is for YOU, Xirag. Time to firewalk, guy!

In a bizarro segue that you cosmic Da-da readers have come to expect, it was another long ago March 17th that Da-da once actually yelled, "TIME TO FIREWALK, GUY!" at a drunk guy named, oddly enough, "GUY."

Monday Cake

Here's your damn Monday smack-cake, now get off Da-da.