That MONDAY Look of Parenthood

Speaks for itself.

Monday at The Non Sequitur

Monday is Awards Day at The Non Sequitur

You've won a powerful thirst -- aaand some rather tragic Keds.

Monday at The Non Sequitur

Monday is the Traditional Day of Gratuitous Cat Jumping at The Non Sequitur...

...as is Cat-Face-Hugging... or as close as one can get...

...Chimp Cat-Polishing... until the genie comes out...

...and of course Chicken Apprehension and Disintermediation. This last bit goes without saying,
but has very little to do with cats... which is at least half the point. Damn chicken.

Tilled, Blended and Olded... and Other Things: The Holidays in a Box

O That Monday Holiday Feeling

That 'naughty-or-nice' thing makes sense now, right?

Monday at the Non Sequitur

Stay out of room 102B.

Monday on the Austerity Express

French toast puree. It's what's for dinner.

Monday on the Austerity Express

It's Monday. Eat Your five-course Donut.

That Monday Look of Parenthood

You Know It's Monday When...

...your IT guy is in a percussive maintenance mood...

...your robot is all alone...

...and strange cheetahs are breeding in your closet.

But take solace...

...it's crab season.

"A Light Sears... And It's Monday Again."

"A light sears... and it's Monday again. See our hero commute in restrained luxury, arrive at work to kill eight hours with trips to the coffee machine and a thousand games of computer Solitaire. See him step down from his “busy” day and eat the Lunch of Transience at the House of Leisure, staring at small screens all the while. After lunch: more solitaire, mayhaps even a phone call. See him head home at the end of the day, where he eats the Salmon of Knowledge on the Couch of Despair. Later, see him schlep to Coffee House #972 – his “social” outlet – and marvel at pictures of Eva Peron sipping espresso, while keeping a safe distance from humanity. See him consume MORE coffee. Watch his blood pressure alert orbiting satellites, as NORAD pushes taut and sweaty missile crews to DefCon Whatever. Too late. He explodes. The planet is torn asunder. Sentient life is destroyed across millions of parsecs of prime galactic real estate. Our hero’s cooling atoms disperse, then stir, coalesce, and slowly awaken… ah, it was only a dream. A light sears… and it’s Monday again."

         -Excerpted from Banker's Holiday, by Gary Clemenceau

The Monday House Rules

The Three Rules of Monday.

It's So Very Monday

It's So Monday

Mondays even make Mel cry.

It's Monday

Pretty much says it all.

The Seven Days of CAKE

CAKE is powerful. You heard it here, first. Cake can cause Revolutions. It can break marriages (e.g., the bride and groom couldn't agree on the CAKE). Cake in the face can cause riots. Files contained therein can loose felons onto the world, etc. Cake is also key to controlling children. Children will OBEY if cake is in the cards. Of course, said obeyance vanishes AFTER cake. But above all...

...CAKE makes Mondays bearable. Mondays SUCK. Oh, wait... did anyone mention that there's CAKE? CAKE! YAY! Cake also makes Tuesdays easier to bear...

...as do donuts, but let's face it: donuts ain't cake. Tuesday cake can also be prophetic and even stop banking scandals in their tracks. Yes, Tuesday cake is LIBOR Scandal kryptonite. Wednesday cake on the other hand...

... is simply something to look forward to... esp. if you get to dangle a participle and wax elliptic.

Thursday cake is always intense. See? It says so right there. It's also both insousciant and effervescent, in a cakey way. Friday cake, however...

...well, Friday doesn't really need cake -- esp. the same damn cake you've had every day that week... but when it's there... well, Friday cake can be pretty cakey, so you might as well go with it. Which brings us to Saturday and Sunday...

Ew.

Saturday and Sunday ARE cake, which after a whole week of cake can simply be TOO MUCH DAMN CAKE. But even too much cake is good cake!

Cake is indeed powerful. That is, except when it comes to Da-da. Because Da-da doesn't really like cake. Unless it's COCONUT CAKE...

Da-da will walk on hot coals for coconut cake -- even UGLY COCONUT CAKE.

Don't Expect Help From the Cows

It's Monday and, as usual, the cows are not helping.

It's Monday, Scrooge 2.0...

...time to unplug the air hose of Christmas Past, have a long cold draught of Christmas Present...

...and try not to think about that Christmas Yet To Come. Pray that the spirits do it all in one night.

Monday Cake

Here's your damn Monday smack-cake, now get off Da-da.