|Grandma says: "GIVE US ALL YOUR BACON! |
Oh, and you're not good enough for our daughter. And your children
are cute, but they could've been sired by anybody."
Come on, old people aren't *supposed* to eat bacon! Even Da-da can't have more than one piece without feeling like he's gonna die. (Factually, Da-da now eats meat only on special occasions, like when he takes out the trash.) To combat said Bacon Grampires -- who were also ingesting all of Da-da's Wild Turkey and Chloral Hydrate, hogging all the bandwidth and doing laundry every five minutes -- Da-da made one of these:
...and BAKED THE CRAP OUT OF IT. The bacon grampires fled to their subterranean retirement Shangri La, singing Lost Bacon Mahabharatas, whatever that means. This of course meant MORE cross-shaped bacon meatloaf for Da-da, who not only took out the trash, HE HOSED OUT THE GARBAGE CANS. Manly AND OCD. Can it get any better than that? Yes, it can, but that's a whole other post.