The Ultimate Prophylactic

Fig. 1. The female.

Ahem. If Da-da may have your attention, please. The Ultimate Prophylactic, that is, the ultimate pregnancy prevention device, involves the following. We could start anywhere, but let's start with one possible fated outcome: cat woman. She leads to...

Fig. 2. Opening the hood.

...THIS...

Fig. 3. Sharing germ-laden saliva. Sexy!

 ...and perhaps THIS, occasionally progressing to...

Fig. 4. The naughty bits.

...THIS (disgusting, but fuzzy), which every now and then (nine months later) leads to a couple months of...

Fig. 5. Pregnancy nausea (beta carotene version).

...THIS, along with denial and doubt and other D-words, but not in a nice, fun way. This moves on to...

Fig. 6. The alien.

...THIS, which other humans encourage for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is sharing the misery.

Fig 7. Post-pregnancy cleavage. Enjoy.

However, it's not all bad, as you do get these for a time, but eventually...

Fig. 8. The child (with future pot pie).

...you get THIS (and not always with a chicken, but it's a nice bonus). Soon after, you invariably find yourself firmly entrenched in...

Fig. 9. Parenthood.

...THIS. Parenthood: The Ultimate Prophylactic. Of course, this is only the beginning. Your cute little chreub eventually turns into...

Fig. 10. The teenager.

...THIS. If by some miracle you're still in the mood, Da-da suggests reviewing the above images again.