An Open Letter to Bike Makers

The cat tail and streamers were scientifically proven to make you go FASTER. Were to. Shut up.

Hey, bicycle makers! Why don't any of you wrench-heads make a Schwinn-type Sting Ray anymore? Hello? Moneymaking potential here in the multi-billion-dollar kid market. The Sting Ray was Da-da's first bike, and a good one to learn on. Da-da's boys are currently learning to ride on mountain-type bikes and it's much more difficult than it should be. He's since modified their bikes to be more like the one you see here (ok, maybe without the accoutrements.) That street cruiser style is better for kids who probably aren't going to do much rock hopping. Anyone else care to chime in here? Maybe Da-da should start making these.