Da-da's Post-Postmodern Pledge of Allegiance

Now that my oldest is in kindergarten, they're starting to try to make them mindlessly chant the Pledge of Allegiance. Pledge of allegiance? Da-da thought that Cold War dinosaur was long buried and yielding dirty crude at some lower, blackworld strata, but BOOM, there it is, like Dick Cheney back from the dead. Da-da's pretty sure some won't like this, but to what, exactly, are these kids pledging themselves? With this in mind, Da-da got cranky and wrote his own post-postmodern pledge of allegiance for today's schools.
Da-da's Post-Postmodern Pledge of Allegiance

I'll try to look at that flappy stripey thing above this place I live in
      (which isn't all that united, lemme tell ya).
And to the police state which will tax me till I die (and for what, exactly?),
Many corporations, wa-aay divisible,
with Liberty and Justice for all the executives.
"Guy Fawkes, clean up on aisle nine. Guy Fawkes...."

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