Da-da's "Missing Time"

All naked children look pretty much alike fresh off the mothership.

Yes, Da-da can finally tell you the truth: he has Missing Time. Or is that Time Missing?

Ever since those two small beings visited him in the mid-2000s -- each visititation 19 months apart -- Da-da has been dead-tired, dizzy, irritable, loopy, kinda stinky at times due to a lack of time for personal hygeine, and delirious from lack of sleep and being forced to make and occasionally eat the small beings' alien food, not to mention watch their mind-numbing TV shows. (He has since developed a serious SpongeBob fixation.) And while Da-da has repeatedly tried to send the small beings away, the "schools" they attend force Da-da to retrieve them at regular intervals, not to mention make Da-da help them with their homework.

To date, Da-da's missing all time from 2005 to the present -- SIX YEARS -- such that he's become a rather large, insensate (though gorgeous and creamy) blancmange that's unable to beat anyone at Scrabble, but is delectable in every way.

Da-da: newly alien, but now delectable in every way.