Too Far

Changing seasons always make Da-da think of hippies. Some of you may recall those heady days at the latter half of the '60s (Da-da was just a microtot), when those hippie folk painted that famous bus and went on that archetypal road trip, documented by Tom Wolfe. Well, those folks inspired a lot of other folks.

Before they left on their own grand adventure, c. 1970, the hippies in Young Master Da-da's neighborhood, like any proper hippies, painted their Volkswagon bus with flowers and peace symbols and unicorn psychedelia. It was not only de rigeur for the time, it was also a noble, unifying gesture, to be sure. And Young Master Da-da, then about five, watched them do this, in fascination of the abomination.

While painting their teutonic vehicle with garish, unteutonic colors, the hippies noticed this five-year-old tow-headed boy watching them. They smiled, probably thinking, "What sweet, innocent youth," but what little Da-da was really thinking was, "My God, they're ruining the paint."

Young Master Da-da had seen his father wax their own car (they also had VWs, a white Herbie and a blue bug, curiously unnamed), so he knew how much work it was. He scowled at the hippies, thinking them supremely irresponsible. One of them noticed Young Da-da watching them, a blonde girl with a kind face, wearing a, "Yellow Submarine," shirt. She plucked a flower from their front yard and presented it to Young Master Da-da to cheer him up.

"Would you like a flower, little boy?" she asked, gently.

"Get a job, hippy!" Young Da-da yelled.

The flower girl stared, mouth agape. Little did she know that she faced a scale model of Da-da's parents' politics: a miniature NIXON.

Finally, she found her voice. "Republican child!" she howled.

The group took a step toward Young Da-da, but he froze them with: "Touch me and the cops are here in ten seconds." Yes, Da-da was a sharp little Nazi at five.

They stopped, deflated, their LOVE balloon popped by a proto-Reaganite, so sad to see in Da-da's minds-eye. The flower girl was right, of course, though Da-da's certainly not toting that conservative banner today (Da-da thinks fighting about politics and sports is dumb). Indeed, for a short time, Young Da-da thought Nixon and Reagan were great guys (Da-da can't believe it, either.), but like the talking snowman said, "Ah, youth." Unfortunately, that long-lost, peace-love-hippy, "FURTHER" zeal has been deflated even further, looking like this today:

Too far.

You'll be happy to know that Da-da tracked down those hippes from so long ago and apologized, and he's since renovated and greened-up that old VW bus. Da-da would drive it to this day if he didn't have to water it so much.


eatdurham said...

so, i was pronouncing da-da as "dah-dah," like, "TA-DA!" except with a D.

And then i realized that is more like, the way a 10 month old says "daddy."

Its much funnier when you read it as "ta-DA!"

A Man Called Da-da said...

Da-da has been called so many things in his life (most of them illegal in polite company) that you can call him anything you want, with any kind of pronounciation, just so long as you don't throw any entrenching tools at his head -- not that he'd feel it. Da-da's head has been used for nuclear testing and can absorb lots of abuse; however, the amount of radioactive green glass in his hair is getting a little icky. Really, Da-da is all about what's funny, so you should ue whatever makes you laugh the most, explosives notwithstanding.

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