FYI, you don't need guns, swords, knives, tanks or any other kind of weapon to feel safe these days. All you need is... a ketchup packet.
How is a ketchup packet going to save you?
 |
| Spaghetti-O's work, too. |
Smear ketchup (or pasta sauce) all over your face and claim not to feel well. Stumble and moan a little. Even military types will run. Or shoot you. That's the only issue, really. It even works if you're a polar bear...
...but it's a slightly different asthetic.
By the same token...
...you should also carry Alka Selzter with you wherever you go.
People are so freaked out about germs these days that foaming at the mouth is right up there with blood all over your face. In fact, given how diversionary our tactics need to be to be fully effective, combining the two... is what's for dinner.
[NOTE1: Da-da did this recently at a fast food place (to embarass his fighting teens)... and almost got shot by a police officer. Then almost got arrested till he explained to the officer what he was doing and why. The officer then took the ketchup and Alka Seltzer packets Da-da offered him.]
[NOTE2: For an effective disguise, try smearing Vaseline all over your face and hair. You'll look like a psychotic speed freak. Bonus points for drooling on that screaming lady's Lexus windshield.]
Update
Mr. Todd: A hidden can of clam chowder can create a nice ‘I just vomited’ effect.
Mr. Da-da: THAT’S why you’re always carrying clam chowder in your jacket. Huh. I thought you were some kind of soup enthusiast.
###
No comments:
Post a Comment