This is Your Brain on Parenthood

And children are responsible for taking things out.

This is Your Brain on Parenthood

Well, to be exact, this is in fact a look of pre- and POST-parenthood.

This is Your Brain on Parenthood

Since parenthood often invokes mind-altering states of consciousness, Da-da thought the faithful might like this if you haven't seen it. Follow the instructions and dust the backs of your eyes. Oh, and don't do this while driving, Young Mister Orange Pants. Why do you wear orange pants, anyway? STOP WEARING ORANGE PANTS.

Instructions:
1. Stare at the red dot on the girl’s nose for 30 seconds.
2. Turn your eyes to a plain surface (your ceiling or blank wall).
3. Blink repeatedly and quickly.
4. Whoa.   (via one+infinity)

Bronko's Nocturnal Emission (no, it's not that)

Da-da's corpus callosum is ready for its close-up.

After keeping Da-da up every freaking night this week with various night terrors, 3YO Bronko kinda slept through the night last night, only to awaken at 5:00 am this morning and pinball from room to room like a... well, like a zombie pinball. Toward the end of this bouncy, Living-Dead vagabondage, Bronko approached Da-da's side of the bed and whispered in his ear: "Da-da. Sometimes my brain is nocturnal."

Da-da is now offering Bronko's nocturnal brain for sale on eBay. No reserve.

They Saved Da-da's Brain (Well, Not Really)

Luckily for Da-da, he lives with talented 3- and 5-year-old brain surgeons. After seeing Da-da this morning (full fee, o'course), they realized that SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH DADA. Jeez, what was their first clue? Da-da always drools before 10:00 am. Anyway, behold the sorry state of Da-da's brain after a scant FIVE YEARS OF DA-DA DUTY:

Ew. Note the satellite dish and errant lizard. Da-da thought his soft tissue faired pretty well, considering; he was certain he'd have more noggin lizards by now. Regardless, after dangerous lizard- and satellite-dish-ectomies, Da-da's brain now looks like this:






















Much better, though Da-da's corpus callosum still needs work. He won't be happy till his brain looks more like CHER, and less like a spoiled blancmange. At least his L-parietal and L-occipital lobes are showing better definition, post-lizard, though he technically has no R or L without a corpus callosum. Really, everyone will be sporting these new UNIBRAINS in future, starting on Capitol Hill. Ahh, the enlightenment of undifferentiation. Damn, why does Da-da suddenly feel like a giant cockroach? Gotta write a novel about this.