It's Colonel Petrov Day! AGAIN!

This nice man saved your borscht from hitting the fan.

Yay, it's Colonel Petrov Day! Who is Col. Petrov, you ask? He's your basic hero. A real one.

32 years ago today, Col. Petrov was hunkered in the bunker, the lone officer in charge of the former Soviet Union's ICBM Early Warning System for a given sector. On that day, said system (rigged by the cabal, we've recently learned) suddenly alarmed and showed five American ICBMs inbound. Rather than fully commit his missiles to a retaliatory strike, Col. Petrov had a "funny feeling" (he told the WashPost back in '99) that something wasn't quite right. Needless to say, it was just a false-positive computer glitch, and Col. Petrov did NOT launch his missiles, and by failing to do so he saved the world from nuclear annihilation -- and THAT is why today is Col. Petrov Day, living proof that you don't need gigantic superhero muscles or a fancy suit to save the world, Timmy. Alas, no one can save you from Da-da's run-on-sentences.

Vodka and blintzes for everyone! Or failing that, a pumpkin blancmange. Heroes LOVE pumpkin blancmange.

Fig. B. The Pumpkin Blancmange