|Your vampire butt is SO staked. Hope you packed your sunscreen.|
The Fearless Monster Hunters Review... THE HORROR OF DRACULA
Da-da: Ok, boys. First off, did this movie scare you?
Nagurski (6YO): No.
Bronko (4YO): No.
Da-da: Not even a little?
Bronko: No way.
Nagurski: We know about vampires, Da-da.
D-d: What was the movie about?
N: Vampires. Sure had a lot of plot. Too much plot. Needed more biting. Count Dooku as the vampire was good, though.
B: Vampires bite because they wear the wrong jewelry. Dracula's ring was all alone in the end. Where was his light saber?
N: Yeah. Dooku used a red lightsaber.
D-d: Are vampires real?
B: No such thing.
D-d: Are Jedi knights real?
B: It's just a movie, Da-da.
D-d: If vampires invaded your town, what would you do?
N: I would use a cross. And the sun. And hide all the sunscreen. A lightsaber would be good, too.
B: I would grow up and jump through the window and let the sun in to make them turn to dust.
D-d: What are vampires, anyway?
N: Monsters that eat your blood. They have sharp teeth and red eyes and don't talk much. They should definitely wear sunscreen.
B: They have a magic ring that makes them vampires. And yeah, sunscreen.
D-d: What was your favorite part of DRACULA?
N: I liked all of it. Especially the part where Count Dooku dried up because he didn't use enough sunscreen.
D-d: Dracula, not Dooku.
B: I liked all of it, too. Where was Anakin?
D-d: How did the movie make you feel?
N: Kinda bored.
D-d: What will you remember most about DRACULA?
N: The drying up part. Count Dooku should stay out of the sun.
B: When it's Easter, I'll remember the part about him drying up. [????!]
|YOU CAN'T PARK THAT THERE!|