After dropping the monkeys off for primate reconditioning and repatterning (read SUMMER SCHOOL), Da-da was running errands. He was waiting to cross a busy street when he noticed a tuned-out, slack-jawed tween with requisite iPod earbuds plugging his ears, obviously listing to the latest from Ten Miles of Bad Road (or perhaps Screaming Naked Lizard Under Glass), totally oblivious to his surroundings. The light changed -- that is, for the other direction -- but the kid wasn't paying attention and couldn't hear anything, so HE STEPPED OFF THE CURB IN FRONT OF AN ONCOMING BUS. Not just any bus. It was one of those monster accordion buses that takes several years to stop even when the driver's paying attention. Sure, it was only going about 35 mph, but at any speed, a 50,000 lb. bus goes over an 80 lb. kid with nothing left over. Do the math, Dracula.
Rather than spend hours talking to the police about what happened, Da-da reached out very quickly (Da-da has what we in the British Navy call, FAST HANDS) and yanked the kid back to the curb just before the bus turned him into so much raspberry jam. The bus rocketed past, the rush of air from so much mass quite impressive. The dumb kid just blinked at Da-da, still not registering... you know, THE NATURAL WORLD. Da-da yanked the earbuds out of the kid's ears and yelled, slowly, and for effect:
"USE YOUR SENSE ORGANS AND LIVE."
Words to live by. Know it, learn it, live it. Jangled and factoring an impossible quadratric, the kid wandered off to his next accident, while Da-da went and bought plastic tikis and leis. Da-da's just that way. It's Evolution in Action.
|"AH, OOO, AH, TIKI TIKI..."|