23.7.13

Da-da's Top Ten Baby Names for a Postmodern Royal Evening

Everybody say, "Yay." Ok, you can stop, now.
Since Kate Middleton just called, Da-da dug out his old list of TOP SECRET baby names that ju-uust missed the cut at Chez Da-da because of certain short-sighted X-chromosome wielders (though she did agree to, "Bronko," and "Nagurski," hello?). So, Kate, here they are, Da-da's Top Ten first and middle names for boys and girls who may or may not wind up as Bond villians, Addams Family relatives, or Royal potentates. When evaluating, it helps to actually yell these names across the manor lawn, or down a huge echo-y hallway. These are in no certain order. Oh, and Kate, it's important for the servants to get some sleep.

Btw, just put, "His Royal Highness..." before each name to sound it out.

BOY NAMES (first + middle)
  1. Yukon Cornelius
  2. Crash Malloy
  3. Blofeld McGuffin
  4. Scaramanga Receptacle
  5. Dack Hellebore
  6. Bosphorous Clink
  7. Spicer Lorch
  8. Katanga Yogi-pants
  9. Giotto Tarpon
  10. Mister BIG
Wow. Makes Da-da wanna have ten more kids, which should tell you a lot about how deeply Da-da has slid into his own giant tank of glowing alien chili. And now, without further ado...
      GIRL NAMES (first + middle)
      1. Ten Diadem
      2. Clytemnestra Tentacle
      3. Marley Bone
      4. Galaxia Blueberry
      5. Pippi Dimentia
      6. Francesca Effluvium
      7. Lulu Attack
      8. Daisy Boo
      9. Tuesday Fisher
      10. Dakota Bear!
      Hm, they do sound a bit like Addams Family relatives, Edward Gorey creations or ice cream flavors, so it's probably a good thing Da-da only had boys.

      Spooky, but attentive. Clytemnestra, stop using PSI to make Da-da butter his head.

        1 comment:

        alanborky said...

        Da-da everyone's assumin' it's go'n'o be a king but what if the child decides to have a sex change an be a queen?

        Or with the wide range of genetic modifications bound to be available when he's older something even more exotic like an herm-afro-dike?

        In which case I've modified a couple of your names

        1) Clytemnestra Testicle
        2) Das Boob

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