Why is Franklin Sitting Alone? AND WHAT'S WITH ALL THE DAMN HONKIES?? [UPDATED]

"A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" is one of Da-da's favorite animated pieces, one he shared with his boys as soon as they were able to focus. Indeed, he recently cast this Peanuts zeal into a trip to the Charles Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa (which was playing Vince Guaraldi music outside and in, but never acknowledged Vince anywhere in the museum!) with the whole brood.

While there, Da-da noticed something strange that he'd never noticed before during a live sketch session that happened to be playing the piece in question: Franklin was sitting alone on one side of the table during Linus' T-day speech. Huh? Was this a form of subliminal segregation? Was it intentional? Da-da's sure the animators weren't aware of this, not consciously. It's a weird tableaux. Franklin's even been given the crappy, intransigent folding chair from Snoopy's earlier furniture imbroglio. What gives? And WHY would someone as cool as Franklin be eating with those damn honkies in the first place? (Oh, wait. Da-da's a honky. Damn. Well maybe the top half.) Before you start rounding up the angry villagers, Da-da should also mention that Marcy and Linus, the token intelligent geeks, are sitting at the head/end of the table. (Interesting that the other characters were excluded.) Da-da won't get even get into the Illuminati table napkins.


On a side note, Da-da left the Charles Schulz museum with a deeper understanding of how seriously depressive and self-defeating Charles Schulz was. It's sad: he really was Charlie Brown. Here's how he looked as a boy:

Little Charlie Schulz doesn't look very happy.

But were Chuck's director/producer/animators... closet racists? Da-da can't believe that. Da-da has too much third-person respect for those guys. He's certainly not accusing them of anything, he just finds it weird. He finds it weirder still that he never noticed it before. Maybe broadcasters of 1971 vintage (the special aired in 1973) had a problem with Franklin sitting with the other kids, or... they did it subconsciously.

Damn, Honky Da-da's bringing me over, man. It's the start of the Silly Season, so we need something uplifting and traditionally Honky to ingest, like death, businessmen grubbing for money and possessions, giant radioactive turkeys, glowing radioactive jewelry, 4BR 3BA mortgage anchors, boats heading pell-mell for a giant radioactive turkeys... 

Luckily, the Turkey and Ham Rapture already took place (not sure about the swiss and cheddar raptures, but that would suck), so we're at least safe from giant radioactive pissed-off turkeys -- well, those we didn't elect, anyway. And Da-da cannot believe he called Linus a honky, when he's actually a, "BLANKIE HONKY."

Honky Da-da ain't no jive radioactive turkey. He can ghostride the whip like Dick Cheney with a fresh virgin-blood transfusion, baby.

Fig. A. Boss Da-da McWhack