I have to break into my sabbatical a moment, as my Nazi-bonehead neighbor -- the one who burns toxic waste in his fireplace and pollutes the neighborhood with poisonous gas -- has picked up the accordion. He practices, "Lady of Spain," all during the dinner hour and stops around 9:45 pm. That's almost four solid hours. AND HE THINKS HE'S GOOD. That's justifiable homicide, right?
Indeed, there is only one thing worse than a Zyklon-B-emitting, Nazi-bonehead neighbor learning to play the accordion... wait. No, there isn't.
We now return you to the arts, already in progress.
Waiter, pass the funiculi omphaloskepsis.