The Horror of... THE GROWTH

Sure, Halloween's over (is it ever really over?), but you still want to see something reeeeeally scary, right? You're just that way. Ok, ready?

Try a morning at a household with two or more boys who are ALL SUDDENLY GOING THROUGH GROWTH SPURTS. ALL CAPS doesn't do it justice.

The ravenous monsters went through nine eggs, eight english muffins, a box of strawberries, a grapefruit, two bowls of cereal, two yogurts, Da-da's brain and part of the cat. The undead screaming and UFC ninja mad monkey cage fighting were epic until the food arrived. Afterward, the only sound left floating across the smoking battlefield was that of manic zombie mastication and the occasional growl. AND THEY'RE ONLY THREE AND FIVE. Jeez, I can't wait for them to be teenagers. I'm posting the, "WANTED: DA-DA," sign now.

Better still, I'll just hand them over to the Monkey Police right now.

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