Can You Hear the Lie, Now?

Enough is enough! Besides the horrible Black Ops video game commercials showing regular folks with shotguns and machine guns and rocket launchers blowing each other away betwixt football scrimmages, there was yet another atrocity hoisted upon this Sunday's NFL viewers. It's a lie that's been around for a while, but this one was the worst and most blatant so far.

As if terrible customer service and spurious technical support and service weren't injury enough, Verizon mocked users with a commercial of a guy camping in the mountains, completely surrounded by pine trees, AND WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME ON HIS CELLPHONE. This is not only patently ridiculous, it's insulting. Then again, since common sense isn't common anymore...

Da-da has 20+ years working in all things wired and wireless and can speak with great authority about wireless range. People have asked the same question for years, "What's the range on this radio/cellphone?"

Answer: It depends.

If you're freezing standing atop Mt. Everest on a clear day and speaking on a simple five watt VHF handheld, your range is 40-100 miles; if you're using the same unit in the Grand Canyon, your range is about an eighth of a mile. Besides line of sight, various weather conditions can cause the RF (radio frequency) footprint to wax and wane, blowing around with air density, obstructions, terrain, iron ore deposits, cell tower frequency, open water, etc. In the SF Bay Area, during fog months, the dramatic thermocline effects (read THE FOG) can cut cell service down to Grand Canyon tolerances -- or sever it entirely.

Anyone with a cellphone knows that the reception on these things sucks. Like "The Future," their capabilities are hideously oversold. Da-da's doesn't even work in his house. But it is a lie of political proportions to imply that some fauxhemian can camp in the woods and somehow receive signal enough THROUGH TREES AND MOUNTAINS to freaking watch TV on his cellphone. Maybe UFOs can do that, but our crummy technology can't. Da-da knows it's a shock to realize that Verizon is lying to you, but then again, many of you like being lied to. The truth is scaaaaary for most people, even though it's really just a paradigm shift, like burning yourself on something for the first time: "Ow. That's hot." And don't get Da-da started on how much these services cost, just assume the position and try to enjoy it.