Applied Tiki Dynamics

What the hell does this have to do with anything? Just you WAIT, menehune-breath.

At six, Da-da's oldest boy, Nagurski, has developed a fear of monsters... which is a bit later than normal, but these things happen. To combat this, Da-da did three things:

1. He started numbering everything in sight
2. He told his boys that the family had INTENTIONALLY moved to the town they live in because monsters HATE that town, and also because everyone seems to be CAPITALIZING EVERYTHING for emPHASIS, and...
3. Da-da installed tikis.

What? Tikis, you say? Why's that? Because...

Spooky Space-Tiki Pole Found in Space (SPOOKY!)

Sure, the auroras are pretty, but look at that alien Spooky Space-tiki Pole!

This just in... a weird, Spooky Space-tiki Pole has been discovered floating in space next to the space shuttle Atlantis. Besides being SPOOKY, and a little redundant, Spooky Space-tiki Pole apparently brandishes the following magical powers:

1. Spooky Space-tiki Pole knows all the words sung to all the annoying songs in Disneyland's, "Enchanted Tiki Room," and sings them all day and all night.
2. Spooky Space-tiki Pole makes pretty aurorae and great fries.
3. Spooky Space-tiki Pole makes sexy, "Ooo, AHH, Ooo, tiki-tiki," noises when you dance with it.
4. Spooky Space-tiki Pole is great for impromptu cargo bay limbo or Int'l Space Station tiki-fu quarterstaff action.
5. Spooky Space-tiki Pole makes all NASA/ESA personnel not only fertile again (the MIBs sterilized them all back in '84), but also... well, ANXIOUS, ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo. Be prepared for a mini-astro-baby-boom.
6. Alien characters on Spooky Space-tiki Pole have been translated as saying, "Property of Adventureland. Possession of Spooky Space-tiki Pole invokes Disney Executive Order #33, thus activating frontal lobe implants and inducing expensive family vacation expenditures to Disney properties, with tickets now only $300/day per person...." C'mon. You always knew Disney was an alien construct.
7. Like the Monolith from 2001, Spooky Space-tiki Pole has the power to embed pineapple chunks into ALL food on the surface of the earth.
8. Spooky Space-tiki Pole takes the "NAH" outta NASA. (Ok, it doesn't. Nothing will.)
9. Spooky Space-tiki Pole is always intense -- and fun!
   
10. Spooky Space-tiki Pole contains all the pent-up tiki power of the omniverse. Do not taunt Spooky Space-tiki Pole.

Here are some Da-da prepared for earlier shuttle missions.