Forget It Jake, It's Zombietown

AIIEIIEE! Get your shoes on it's time for school! And don't forget your BRRRAIN...

The PTA Has Risen From the Grave

Point of order, Mr. Speaker!

The PTA Has Risen From the Grave

Tonight's Agenda: No BRAIN Left Behind.

Da-da's Ghost Brain, Already in Progress

Da-da is cursed. Sure, his children are incredibly cute and darling, but they're also such a goddamn 24/7 chaotic trainwreck handful that Da-da's brain is, he fears, irreparably damaged from being too close to the tracks. Case in point, Da-da was just on the phone, talking train metaphors or somesuch with an editor, when Bronko comes running full-tilt and half-naked down the hallway, peeing his pants and screaming, "GHOST FESTIVAL! GHOST FESTIVAL!" [Ghost festival?] Then, BAM. He goes down on his face and skids into the wall.

"Um, lemme call you back." Da-da calmly deals with Bronko's Bronkoness and returns to the phone some time later. Da-da asks, "Um, what was that question, again?" The editor answers with a stony silence. [sigh] Da-da will never have an adult conversation at this rate, not with this brain -- and not with this family -- unless he changes gears and moves into the janitorial or casket-testing industries. Alas, Da-da's thought train was derailed and hopelessly sunk long ago in some fetid mommy-brain swamp of redundant mommy-brain swampiness. It struck Da-da then that he doesn't have, "The Brain That Wouldn't Die." No. Instead, he has, "The Brain That Doesn't Know It's Already Dead." Welcome to the ghost of Da-da's brain, already in progress.