|Are tunneling clowns inducing weird vibes? Da-da doesn't think so, either.|
That said, playgrounds in Da-da's event horizon are abuzz with stories of humming and vibrations in the sky and underground, driving people crazy in Russia, Europe, the U.S., etc. These unusual events have been reported by multiple credible witnesses (in some cases by whole towns, mayor included), but no one seems to be offering any solutions. How could they? So, since these kids' ideas and opinions are just as valid as that of the NY Times (perhaps more so, as kids have no agenda), Da-da asked his boys and their 4-6YO classmates just who or what they think is causing the humming and/or vibrations, and recorded the kids' list of responses.
here's a comprehensive list), government types and their spooky subcontractors are constantly spending all kinds of taxpayer moolah for all kinds of ridiculous subterranean secret thingies. Da-da doesn't care why anymore (which is exactly how "they" want you to feel, so consider Da-da a success!), because secret government diggers are gonna secretly dig, perhaps to hide the secret little crumbs they've
And now Da-da's additions to the list:
Sandworms. This is the best of all possible outcomes. Huge sand worms (from Frank Herbert's DUNE series) are underground right now eating everything in sight, preparing to burst aboveground and eat Republicans and Democrats, bloggers and doomsayers alike, creating what Da-da calls, "The Sandworm Party," just in time for the 2012 elections. Grab your maker hooks, Stilgar!
his own private church out of solid rock (nine ornate temples on five levels) beneath Alp foothills outside of Turin. For all anyone knows, there could be millions of
Gasland," by Josh Fox. Fracking could also be upsetting underground substrates, causing huge subterranean shifting, thus creating vibrations, humming, etc. In some places, you can actually light the water from your faucet, giving off a blue flame. Seriously not funny.
damnation of the Top 10 List. Then again, why would you ever expect consistency from someone who has nothing left inside his head? For all Da-da knows, the huge lifeless plain in his head may be creating some kind of harmonic synchronization with those empty craniums running nearly every country on earth, which may be the most frightening of all.
It doesn't matter what's causing the humming, o'course. Gophers are gonna gopher, HAARP's gonna HAARP, aliens are gonna alien, and secret government agencies are gonna secretly govern... whatever. Da-da's not gonna worry about it and neither should you. If your house is vibrating due to some underground phenomena, you can either crank up the tunes (or maybe down, as AC/DC cranked up to 11 might just be the cause), or chat with other sensor-neighbors, make a map of the disturbances and start tracking it. Then again, those of us in The Sandworm Party know precisely what's going on.
|Next stop: Monsanto.|