The One Where Da-da Fixes Decades of Societal Ills and Vaguelly Waxes Tofflerian

This is a must-read for parents -- esp. parents of boys. It will surprise no one who knows Da-da (can anyone EVER really know Dada?) that Da-da goes against the grain in just about everything popular culture espouses, but esp. shuns the two grotesqueries mentioned below. Needless to say, Da-da would be an obvious candidate for living Off the Grid if he didn't dislike the hermetic lifestyle so much. Really, wearing bandages in public is kinda the same thing, anyway, but in a fun-n-freaky sci-fi way, which pleases the aliens living inside Da-da. (At least SOME OF THEM. Most of them say, "Hi," btw.) Anyway, all this Da-da-ness notwithstanding, past the jump is an excellent article exposing two main ontological traps for young men (and some young women) in developed nations (NOTE: the article posits this as, "America," but Da-da extrapolates this to mean any country with a Western appetite and ample electricity and politicians who should all be chucked out the air-lock.)

These Two Traps Are Absolutely Destroying The Next Generation Of Young Men In America

endoftheamericandream.com
June 5, 2012

Have you ever noticed that our young girls seem to be far ahead of our young boys and that our young women seem to be much more “together” than our young men are?  Have you ever noticed how many young American men almost seem like zombies and find even the most basic human interactions extremely awkward?  Well, this didn’t happen by accident.  Researchers are finding that there are two traps in particular that are absolutely destroying the next generation of young men in America.  One is video game addiction and the other is pornography.  In the old days, the parks and ball fields of America would be flooded with young boys after school was done for the day, but now our parks and our ball fields are very quiet.  So where did all the boys go?  Well, they are all sitting at home staring into computer screens.  Yes, there are also young girls and young women that are addicted to these things, but the truth is that these addictions are far more prevalent among young men.  Unfortunately, it is not going to be easy to reverse the damage that is being done to the next generation of young men in America, and that is very frightening.

These days, most parents don’t consider video game addiction to be a major crisis.  Many parents are just glad to have something that will keep their children occupied and out of their hair.

Food and Loathing: The Amazing Chicken-free Chicken Pot Pie, A Product Non-Recommendation

Don't you believe it.

Sure, Da-da likes to make most things from scratch, but like every other parent on earth, he doesn't always have time to move around without the restraints. So, since Bronko and Nagurski love pot pies -- which Da-da usually secures from Trader Joes, (which are awesome, but they were out) -- Da-da shelled out $5.49 each for two of the above pot pies from an upscale overpriced market that shall remain shameless. $5.49 doesn't apparently buy what it once did, esp. when it's festooned with the word, "ORGANIC." Note that these were the only two pot pies they carried, the other brand being smaller. Here's the image and description off Pacific Foods website:

"Tender chunks of free-range organic chicken and garden vegetables are simmered slowly in a creamy sauce and ladled into a light, flakey crust made with organic flour and butter. It will remind you of home in that mouthwatering “can I have seconds, please?” sort of way. And this one is ready in about seven minutes. So, you could have two if you really wanted to."

Uh huh. Dangle that participle, word-monkey. That said, the pot pie reality was a bit different.

First off, there were no chunks of chicken whatsoever. Not one. In two pies. Da-da checked, incredulous, as he'd been suckered by the pic on the box and couldn't quite believe it, but who are we kidding this is what the world has come to, right? [breathing sound] Second, there was no crust apart from the thing slapped on top of the paper bowl, and it was a millimeter thick. Ah, but there were lots of "chicken gravy," vaguelly redolent of... well, of something that used to have feathers. Since the "pie" contained nothing else, these were in fact nothing but, "GRAVY PIES," and the gravy was lame. Da-da wasted an hour's-worth of British Thermal Units to cook these pathetic paper bowls of blah. And Da-da's boys did not want seconds -- indeed, they quite loudly complained that there was no chicken in their chicken pot pie (which they've come to expect from Trader Joes' pot pie), took two bites of gravy and asked for a hot dog. Da-da then had to waste more time and more money making more food -- in a big damn hurry, as the natives were starving and tend to flense flesh off bones in this dangerous state. They were not happy and Da-da is not happy... AND POT PIE IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.

See there? You made Da-da get all CAP-py. Nice work. Back to Soylent Green, already in progress.

"Soylent Green is people food!"

The Apocalypse is Overrated

These new bars are made from coder flesh. Only the best!

Um, Ok. It's People. Is It Fattening?

So, this came out. What does it mean? It's a cracker. Its meaning is intrinsic (perhaps in more ways than one), if not a little banal. If you had to ascribe a larger meaning to said cracker, you might come up with the sad truth that anything anyone ever writes or paints or builds or sings or turns into a movie -- or has written, painted, built, sung or recorded in the past 250,000 years -- will eventually be used to sell you something (which is the prime reason Da-da conditions his progeny to distrust all corporate brands). Even worse, MOST OF THOSE THINGS WILL CONTAIN GROUND-UP PEOPLE.

This is not to say that ground-up people aren't good (the natives call it, "long-pig," if that tells you anything), or good for you... alas, like hard tack 200 years ago, it is what we in the British Navy call, "REPULSIVE, but tasty." That said, Da-da has no idea if this is any good, but if someone wants to send him a free box (or 10,000), he will dutifully record how much ennui or excitement it generates... you know, as a cracker. Why not buy a nice fresh baguette instead? If you really MUST have a cracker, slice the baguette thin and wait a day. BOOM. Crackers. If you don't slice it, you have a murder weapon.

[linky]

Note: those of you who have no idea what Da-da's talking about (like, ever), here's a synopsis of SOYLENT GREEN.