Roadtrip of the Colossal Da-da

Summer roadtrip. With small children. See you in two weeks. In the rubber room.

Scenes From Da-da's Mind-Roasting Summer

In case anyone was wondering, there is one simple ingredient that turns the above image into the below image. Can you guess what that is?

That's right: CHILDREN.

Da-da just spent an hour prying indescribably gooey thingies from nooks and crannies of his vehicle, most of which were sentient and knew Da-da's social security number by heart -- and the family hasn't even left, yet. This hardly surprises Da-da as nothing surprises Da-da after six years of constant Da-da surprises. Ok, that's a lie. There was one little surprise: how did the boys get ice cream sandwiches INSIDE the exhaust manifold? Does not bode well. Then again, not much had been well-boding since the little miscreants showed up. Sure, they're all cute and adorable and full of light and hugs just before you're ready to kill them, but it's just a cheap trick. A TRICK. [sigh]

Summer Roadtrip Prelaunch Countdown commencing... confidence is NOT high... repeat, CONFIDENCE IS NOT HIGH.

Somewhere Between Christmas and Being Roasted Alive

Honky Da-da's had Kid Duty for something like 20 straight days (well... four actually, but it feels like 20), and -- yay -- on Monday he gets to lock himself up with the mental patients in the Family Truckster...

...and drive overtheriverandthroughthewoods to grandmother's house in SoCal for a whole week of Thermostat Wars, as grandma will no doubt have the furnace cranked past the melting point of lead, but it's a dry heat. (Da-da is resigned to sleeping outside in a thin t-shirt and thong.) There's good news, though: Da-da will be sporting his sexy new FAMILY ISSUE SWEATER VEST for T-day proper, so he can be SYMPATICO with the in-laws.

Yes, a tour of duty as A Man Called Da-da is somewhere between Christmas and being roasted alive, but the Da-da wardrobe perks make it all worthwhile.