|I'm Santa, I'm Santa, I'm Santa, I'm Santa, I'm Santa, I'm Santa...|
For the sake of science, Da-da tried to emulate a scale model of one little facet of the big man, eating a whole plate of Christmas cookies someone brought, and washing 'em down with three large hot chocolates and a few cups of mocha-honka macchiatos. Not surprisingly, Bad Mall Santa Da-da couldn't stop himself from his own manic Batman moment, saying, "I'm Santa, I'm Santa, I'm Santa, I'm Santa, I'm Santa,..." over and over to those assembled mall Santa faithful (um, who all kinda already knew Da-da was Santa; the suit was a bit of a giveaway). The sweat-slicked vaseline hair was a little off-putting, Da-da's guessing. Sure, the entire experience was annoying and painful and borderline dangerous from a health standpoint, but Da-da did successfully crank through about 186,000 kids in a single shift, a world record. Now if everything would stop vibrating and that damn floating glowing donkey would stop following Da-da everywhere, all would be right with the world.
[Read Bad Mall Santa Da-da 2, or go to Bad Mall Santa Da-da #4]