Happy 11/9/11 Apocalypse... er...

We want an apocalypse about this big, please. Put it next to the other one, for a nice two-pronged effect.

...oh. In case you didn't know, some wags promised a bizarre occurrence/EOTW (End of the World) game changer event today, but it looks to have fizzled in yet another failed apocalypse. Jeez, looks like this magilla's gonna go the distance. (Go the distance.) What? (Go the distance.) Oh.

Great. Now Da-da's gotta go build a baseball field in... where? White Horse, Canada? How annoying... er, YAY. One of his prime "shoeless" prospects has already arrived, and is no doubt the source of all the whispering. Or Da-da's meds have failed yet again. Sure, Da-da's new outfielder is from Canada, but he's got a mean eye... and if Mr. Gossage's arm never develops -- if indeed he has an arm in there -- Da-da will have to ease his pain on Thanksgiving Day, or trade him to Whole Foods for a player to be named later.

Actually, a minor sporting apocalypse has indeed occurred today, which Da-da won't make light of, as none of it is funny.