8.3.13

Da-da's Psychotronic Catalog of Extreme Mental and Physical States of Quasi-Parental Vagabondage

Exhibit 127. "The Substitute Teacher."

Pater-Morphology/-Morbidity: In this frightening example of Quasi-Parental Volition Cascade (QPVC), a quasi-parental subject -- in this case a substitute teacher (seen here with Bronko and Nagurski in their typical, Rousseauian state) -- will need be on their guard almost constantly. Turning one's back on highly intelligent and rabid frankenspawn (that is, children) is wholly contraindicated for all save for those extensively trained in the martial arts. However, after an assertive, two-fisted propriocentrist quasi-parental guidance session, 89% of no-neck lawn gorillas will drop their weapons and sullenly stand down... but watch your back. Freud and Jung, in a rare agreement, called QPVC, "The plateau of death." Oddly enough, psychologists and neurologists studying this all-too-common malady have determined that the future is doomed for male childcare workers over the age of 40 (slow reflexes and all that).

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