Da-da's Psychotronic Catalog of Extreme Mental and Physical States of Parental Vagabondage

Yes. Of course. Whatever you say.

Pater-Morphology/-Morbidity: In this tragic example of pater-parental volition collapse (PPVC), a Mr. Mom's mind and will have totally buckled under the stress of rabid, nose-mining frankenspawn (that is, children) who are constantly screaming, "I WANT! I WANT!" all the time, the Mr. Mom's formerly assertive, two-fisted propriocentrist parental guidance suddenly snapped into a deep neural acquiescence. Formerly the sole bastion of afflicting mothers-in-law and domineering wives, PPVC often leaves the male sufferer with only the word, "YES" in his vocabulary, as he caves to every demand. Freud and Jung, in a rare agreement, called PPVC, "The last stop on the steam line to madness." Oddly enough, psychologists and neurologists studying this malady have determined that women are too smart to let this happen to them.

The House of NO

Da-da has built and lives in the unapologetic House of NO. NO, you can't watch any more TV today, one hour is enough. NO, you can't play video games, they rot your attention span and serve no purpose. NO, you can't run around naked outside (not till college). NO, you can't bite your brother's neck, Da-da doesn't want to clean up the blood... NO! And YES, Da-da has reasons for all these negations. He will explain them in detail, if you'd like, with chalkboard illustrations, sources and character witnesses, if necessary. And YES, your feelings are noted, as always.

However, as Da-da says many times every month, he is not here to be liked. He's not your friend, he's your FATHER and zoo keeper. He's here to do his duty, to wear the Arbiter's Sweatpants of Safety, Common Sense (which is certainly not common anymore), Goodness, Fair Play, and a lot of other Capitalized Words that are increasingly archaic no matter how terrible the cost is to Da-da himself. Otherwise, he would be a poor candidate for Da-da, and hence, no use to small beings everywhere, so there. 

Ok, which one of you detonated the atomic bomb in the living room again?