The Hirsute Horror of Justin Bieber

AIIIIEIEIE!

This just in. Da-da's apologies to you Donny Osmond Justin Bieber fans, but as it turns out, the poor kid has a rare form of reverse-alopecia called, "hirsutism," so in a few scant years he'll look like this:

Poor Cousin Bieber. Then again, he'll always have a job in movies.

Even worse, hirsutism is HORRIBLY CONTAGIOUS, so anyone he's ever touched will look like this in minutes:

Cousin-Bieberitis isn't pretty.