Just LEARN, baby.

Ah, Friday, the day 'Scientists Annoying Babies' articles come out.

Turns out that scientists "recruited" (good Nazi word) 1- and 2-day-old infants to see if they could spend all their grant money by bugging babies, presumably to see if we can make children learn the split-second they arrive. Why should you get some slack, Timmy? What, were you born yesterday? WELL, GET TO WORK. YOUR ONE-YEAR-OLD TEST SCORES NEED TO BE HIGHER. WE WORK HARD AT THIS LEVEL, SON.

here, science, let me make you hot: "DR. MENGELE, UNATTENDED BABY IN AISLE NINE... DR. MENGELE...."

just you try electroding my NINJA PRE-SCHOOLERS, science-boy. good luck. we're all counting on you.

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