Showing posts with label english. Show all posts
Showing posts with label english. Show all posts

14.11.11

When Grammar Nazis ATTACK

Hey! Gimme that!

Da-da was savaged earlier this week by a fearlessly anonymous grammar Nazi, claiming Da-da committed every grammar crime from split infinitives to prepositional propositionals to sentences beginning with, "And," overuse of neolgisms, and of course endless run-on sentences that ran on and on and on and on... AND on and on and on... well, they eventually stopped... SOMETIMES.

As Xerxes the Great said to Gherxjkin the Insignificant: "So?"

Da-da sees english as a LIVING DEAD LANGUAGE, one that should have its dead limbs beaten and whacked away from the doors and windows and not allowed within the confines of manifest destiny and shot in the head at your earliest convenience, leaving everyone both STRUNK and WHITE -- of course, secondarily to keep a postmodern reader's impossible interest, and primarily because Da-da thinks it's fun to flay his own language and, well... this is his blog, so he'll mangle his own language and lots of other languages till the cows return to Capistrano, il castrato. Da-da sincerely hopes this little explanation goes a long way toward assisting grammar Nazis with their greasing of 1st Person corncobs posthaste. Failing that, you could shut up and man the post for awhile. Da-da's children LOVE guests.


Give us a kiss, Adolph.

30.9.11

Pursuit, the Bludgeon and the Torch


Da-da would say something original like, "Get ready to start that Halloween countdown!" if Da-da didn't already celebrate the humorous horror... the horror-humor... horrible humor, indeed... of everyday ontological vending machine reality (drop a coin, pull a knob, have some fun)... um, you know, like it's Halloween... every... day. Jeez, get thee behind me, ENGLISH LANGUAGE. English is such a vainglorious swampy mess ("That's how I roll!" -- gag), not a living language at all. More like a LIVING DEAD LANGUAGE that needs it's brains handed to it. Well done. With a side of hashed browns.

Or perhaps that's Da-da's own meager skills that require the bludgeon and torch... hm, sounds good. Until further notice, Da-da will be having a pint or three, down at The Bludgeon and Torch if anyone needs him. Don't need him. That third person he keeps dragging around is pretty winded.

MLA editors occasionally burst into flame and say, "Get Da-da's third person! There he goes!"
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