Huh. The Rapture Actually Occurred...

 
...for prairie dogs. First it was the dinosaurs, then the dodos (except those on Capitol Hill), then the turkeys, the pigs, and now the prairie dogs. Damn. (So to speak.) Krikey, when will it be RAPTURE TIME for those of us with mommy brain? Like many before him, Da-da will simply have to take comfort in a really big spiky pickle. All Hail Spiky Pickle!

Rapturians, Please Feed the...

For those Rapturians heading out on Saturday, May 21st's, "Rapture Day," would you please feed all the pigs and turkeys that vanished due to this past holiday Turkey Rapture and Pig Rapture? And it would be great if you'd cut some of the mold off the hams and pile more wood in the smokehouse, thanks a bunch. In the meantime, Da-da needs to get busy occupying your properties and driving all your Buick LeSabres. Livin' the dream!

AIIEEE! It's the Turkey Rapture!

It's official. At 11:22 am EST, all of the world's turkeys pre-empted Thanksgiving and Raptured themselves into Turkey Heaven, where they'll pretty much do the same things turkeys have done in the past. Except they'll glow a lot more. And gloat about all the spiritually unclean turkeys they Left Behind. Yes, in case of Thanksgiving, this turkey will be unmanned.

So, I guess it's gonna be HAM this year, unless... DAMN.

Crap. Well, at least T-day will be kosher. Pass the tofu, Rabbi.

[MORE up-to-the-minute Rapture news HERE.]