Da-da's OTHER Secret Burger Recipe of HORROR

A great cheeseburger would really help right about now.

Da-da's OTHER Secret Burger Recipe of HORROR (here's is the first one) isn't that secret or horrifying, but if you smear it all over your face and stumble down the street moaning, you might serve as a serviceable zombie... which won't keep you from getting sucked into that pesky vortex. What? That's right, Da-da's talkin' 'bout Labor Day. Speaking of barely tenable workaday segues, your best Labor Day zombie burger experience will have as ingredients some or all of the things you normally put on the exterior of your burger, like ketchup, mustard, wombats, adamantine steel, etc. Many places use this simple recipe, though adamantine steel is only available from select wolverines, and even then, it's a tough harvest.

Da-da was reminded of all this while trapped in a possessed evil dead cabin in the woods over the summer, though mostly because he planned poorly and found he had NONE of his regular Da-da Burger ingredients. (Not having shallots or Dijon was the real horror, seconded only by Da-da's electric scalp massager gaining consciousness.) Trumping that, the giant mosquitos, 90-degree heat and bleeding floor boards, this impromptu burger recipe really helped. It seems overly simple, but works well.

Da-da's OTHER Secret Burger Recipe of HORROR

4 lbs ground beef

1/2 onion, minced

2-3 T. yellow mustard

4 T. ketchup
dash of garlic powder

S&P

Mix with your hands and squish until homogenous. (Da-da loves that sentence.) Form into patties and dust with a little garlic powder, S&P and GRILL, grill like THE WIND. Even zombies will think twice about eating you if you've got a Da-da Cheeseburger in your gnarled paw.

So, what do werewolves, burgers and Labor Day have to do with one another? [spooky music UP] Da-da's pretty sure you're about to find out.

Labor Day and werewolves and cheeseburgers go together like ham and ster.