The Sitter [spooky music UP]

Yes, it's almost Halloween, so it's time for some FEAR, yay. Ready?

To any real parent (as opposed to all those fake ones), leaving your children with strangers pretty much pegs the Sphinctometer. Indeed, choosing the right babysitter is tricky, esp. as Mr. Mom, which somehow carries a greater level of anxiety than for Actual Mom, who can somehow sniff these things out like some kind of Alpha animal (in a good way, honey), but Da-da has his own standards and he's gonna stick to 'em. Da-da means, when he goes to the door to let in that latest highly recommended $20/hr. sitter and she's wearing a freaking bunny mask and standing there staring at Da-da and breathing heavily... well, Da-da's mind conjured this:

Um, hello? Wearing a bunny mask, however cute and endearing, is right up there with showing up for a job interview wearing a white-painted William Shatner mask and bloodstained coveralls... which might explain why Da-da's unemployed, hmm. Da-da thought it was just the clown makeup. Anyway, it's safe to say that Da-da and company ate IN that night. Sure, our family wears masks almost constantly, but OURS aren't creepy, jeez.

[NOTE: John Carpenter's, "HALLOWEEN," was so scary because THE SHAPE (as he was known in the script) is wearing a William Shatner mask painted white; the prop guy couldn't find any scary masks -- the only one he could find was the Shat -- so John Carpenter said, "Paint it white." That's why the film works: IT'S AN EMOTIONLESS WILLIAM SHATNER KILLING PEOPLE. You never saw The Shat this way because he was consistently overacting, which explains the movie's puzzling fright -- and why the pathetic remake was... well, pathetic. Overactingly speaking, you might overact, too, if you were humping giant rabbits one moment, waxing white commanche the next.]

[NOTE2: If you wanna see something reeeeaaallly scary, try THE SITTER II. Mmmm, burned baloney.]

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...