Da-da's Native American Nomenclatura (or, YOUR "INDIAN" NAME HERE)

Da-da's Native American name used to be, "Materializes-in-Green-Laundromat-Chair."

It's very important for families to both determine and then firmly embrace Native American nomenclature -- or as politically incorrect, coonskinned kids in the '50s called it, "yer Indian name." (They're all running Congress, now.) This naming ritual is easier than you think, and is SO important. Why is it SO important? Come on, Da-da can't answer every one of Life's Mysteries for you. If he did that, you'd just materialize in and out of laundromats all day and all night in dispair of KNOWING EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE. How dull.

Anyway, sans further ado, here is Da-da's Awesome Native American nomenclatura for his own awesome family:

Da-da's Awesome Native American Family Nomenclatura

4YO Bronko is now, "Loud Bear"
6YO Nagurski is, "Many-Places-at-Once"
32YO Ma-ma is, "Big-Hair-in-Charge"

And of course...

89YO Da-da is, "Stands-With-No-Brain."

See? Case closed.