Valentine's Day SMOKED CHEESE

 

Yeah, yeah, another... Awwwwwwww moment. At least there will be no Space Chicken sightings.

For the Valentine's Day record, Da-da's wife exhibits so many superlatives it makes your head spin... except when she gets on Da-da about emptying the trash. And scotchguarding the cat. C'mon, Da-da LOVES scotchguarding the cat, but these things take time.

Anyway, Da-da tried to think of ONE THING wrong with her (Ma-ma, not the cat), and all he came up with was that, besides that righteous left hook, she smelled like smoked cheese for two days during her two pregnancies. Seriously. Women's pregnancies (as opposed to men's) have chemical and somatic changes that are mind-boggling, not the least of which is the dreaded, "SMOKED CHEESE SYNDROME." Some pregnant women smell like smoked cheese, while others smell like pepperoni, proscuitto, East Rutherford, NJ... etc. Factually, proto-Ma-ma was redolent of either a five-year-old smoked gouda or some kind of ancient Basque manchego; it was both FASCINATING and DISGUSTING at the same time, and left Da-da wondering what wine to pair Ma-ma with, a viognier or a montrachet? On our budget, we're lookin' at NIGHTTRAIN, if you can find it. Serve chilled.

Speaking of fascinating and disgusting...

Astonishing. Happy V-day, Captain. You guys always were hot for each other.

Sub-Nuclear BINGO

For those (ok, one) of you who might be interested, here's a useful bingo card showcasing sub-nuclear particle classifications -- along with the (still alleged) Higgs-boson that's supposed to be responsible for all mass. And here Da-da thought it was his lasagna.

On a side note, imagine CERN's Large Hadron Collider particle accelerator (when it works, it's coin-driven) cranking super-intense, uber-BROBDINGNAGIAN electromagnetic donuts -- with sprinkles -- around its 27 km circumference over and over and over again, 100 meters below the Swiss countryside. What effect might that kind of energy have on the geophysical space-time neighborhood? I hope someone is monitoring plants and cows and people on the inner cheese ring to see if they're getting free cable... or a second head... or are reading more Joyce than other quantifiable entities. Yeah, right.

















































While Da-da has you (he loves this stuff), each magnet-cluster slice weighs 2000 tons AND can produce nearly 100 metric tons of swiss cheese in a picosecond (with entangled bubblage). Luckily, Da-da only has to store 5 tons at his house. Anyone have 3 million barrels of montrachet? Da-da ALWAYS has room for montrachet.